千二百六十三: Lost Planet

Lost Planet is finally on sale!




One of Capcom's first Xbox 360 games, with a totally new story concept. You can watch a shot of the game play here:



Today I didn't fall asleep studying. However, I had a very horrible tummyache.

千二百六十二： well well ...

the events of last night disgusted me.

i am devoid of all feelings towards this being.

today had the chance to study for a full day but due to last night with no chance of recovery, headache and fever forced me to nap in the afternoon. when I woke up, it was time to bathe and get ready for japanese class . argh.

things seem to be looking up for the trip. I have finally received my winter wear (did I say that already?). now all i need to do is to find the suitcase.

千二百六十一： 死にそう

feel so giddy and sleepy but i can't sleep yet!! haven't finished what i'm supposed to read and my sis is creating trouble by not being home yet. my mom gets pissed off and shouting at everyone who's left in the house. sighz. seriously in a pressure cooker right now. head can't stop throbbing and my nose is also running. (yuuuuuch.)

he finally fixed a dinner date with his frens for my visit. means i have to go get some presents for the kids le. maybe I'll just get them all some children's book. hehe..

& some inconsiderate neighbour is playing mahjong at this time on a tuesday night! wth?!

sighz.... i have been thinkin of the earlier days lately, before i fall asleep so that I can sleep happily. of the times we travel together and when he is really sweet. i miss him .. but I dunno what to say to him le..

千二百六十: Rain & the Sneezes

it's raining so much nowadays. of cos, the weather turning cold will lead to our immune systems down when we kick away our blankets at night. I can't stop sneezing, and a little headachy, and got a little rain on me just now. I hope I'm not coming down with anything. I do want to get the JLPT over with first. ... then zzzzzzzzz for a while.

I got my textbooks today! after msging the coordinator, she finally called to say i could collect my books from the student services area today. i got the lesson plan and the reading says to read chapter 1,2,4,5,7,8 and 9. I excitedly flipped to the content page and saw that in total, the book has 10 chapters. -.-! omg! read the whole text book by this friday?! sighz. if I can finish studying my Japanese first.

things are at a cooling point today. I hope they get warmer again soon.

千二百五十九： 14才の母

I'm watching this show now, １４才の母　 (14 year old mother) and its making me cry buckets. besides the fact that I'm having PMS, and feeling teary anyway, the show is so sad. but 14 year old. getting pregnant then is seriously abit overdoing it. Her words strike a chord though. Most of us, due to societal pressures, would choose to quietly abort the kid and keep it a secret forever. But she chose to keep the baby because she wants to see what the baby will look like. -.- its very selfless, but who will look after the child when its born? her mom? sighz.

the weekend is over again. I feel wiped out. emotionally almost everything has been wiped off as well.

千二百五十八： Your Theme Song

If you had a theme song to your life, what would it be?

Is it an English song, a Chinese song or some other language?

I studied today, or tried to but couldn't concentrate very much, my mind kept drifting off to other things. I have many things bothering me, or is it just PMS? Maybe I am a worrier. I woke up from a 3 hour-nap in the afternoon, drifted off on the couch and was very grouchy. Of cos, some things triggered my irritation as well, like how some people can't keep their promises and keep delaying things they promised to help you do. I expected it, I know its not kind of me but nowadays, I expect the worst from anyone who promises me anything so that I don't feel let down. Rather, in my head, I'll go "Yah just as I expected". Few people have actually not fulfilled that expectation. Or do I just know all the same type of people?

I feel like calling off the Japan trip. I haven't got my winter clothes and I am sick of reminding him and waiting for him to send them to me.

千二百五十七： Things to do

Got so many things i need to be doing or get done!!

1. Study for Japanese exam (next sunday!!!)

• Read thru Grammar book again
• Read thru Kanji book again
• Look at adverbs in Pyaess text
  

2. Prepare for Japan trip

• Buy Suitcase
• Buy presents /souvenirs for colleagues and the kids
• Gather winter clothing
• Buy his bday present
• Make christmas cards
  

3. Get materials for course and prepare
4. Go for dental appointment.

hehe.. alot of mini tasks actually.

Today. it had to rain when I was wearing the blister causing shoes again. -.- the heels had a hole in their pointed area and if i stepped in a puddle, my toes would get wet lor.

Got confidentiality form, I can't say anithing here. hehe. I can only say it takes me 1hr 45 min to travel to Expo MRT. It's a nice place, the people were friendly as well. I just hope I get to see them again.

Less than a month to seeing him again. In January, it would be 6months, 1/4 of my bond is over and only 1.5 years left.

千二百五十六：ピンポン・ピンポン

The exam is looming nearer and nearer. Last night’s class was really empty. For the first session, only 2 people were in class. We were giving a past year paper to do, and I’m happy to say after the week of frantic reading to finish the grammar text, I managed to get more than 50% right without checking the dictionary! Wahahaha! What a big change from the past weeks where I would be like looking at the words blankly and not knowing the difference between the choices. But.. 50% is not enough to pass.. I must try to scrape through with like 70%. Sighz. It was a little demoralizing yesterday when another veteran classmate said she had tried the exam for 6 times and still hadn’t passed. Jialat.

The lessons for the course is going to start soon! I’m so excited! But I hate it that the texts are not here yet. So slow.. I don’t like to go to class unprepared, to go there and be unable to participate insightfully and just look blankly at other people. And they said that the texts would be here earlier if we signed up earlier ~~~ misrepresentation on their part. Grrr.

Yesterday’s 6.0 hour tuition session was quite tiring. In the morning, I woke up a little too late, luckily the bus came almost immediately for the fastest route that I hadn’t actually thought of until I was exiting the house in a bit of a blind panic. I just couldn’t think of the fastest way to get to a MRT station on the North Line from the house such that I would reach Yishun in half hour. Faced with such a situation, I had no choice but to take the short cut through the jungle behind my house. As I ran to the bus stop, my leg came into contact with something long and it moved upon contact and I hope it wasn’t a snake.. after that, was running to the bus stop in fear of being bitten rather than due to the late factor. Luckily, 170 came just went I reached the stop, and it suddenly dawned on me that Kranji MRT was the nearest station that I could reach in the shortest time since the 170 driver usually drives like a maniac anyway. Hehehe.

True enough, I reached Kranji MRT in less than 15 min later, and it was just exact timing for me to reach Khatib MRT in 16min. phew. The next session after that was in Redhill. Yes, the north line all the way to Raffles Place and then change to the West Line. Had given myself only an hour initially, luckily I increased the time cos it took me an hour half to get there including bus changes. So far…. The traveling part is the worst thing about tuition. I dun like to move around, I think I can say that traveling on public transport is actually very draining for most people as well.

When the session was finally over, the important phone call came. And I walked 20 floors down to the first level cos I didn’t want to go into the elevator and get the reception cut off. I can’t believe that I actually walked 20 storeys of steps. It actually felt like nothing, cos I was on the phone. So now you know, you wan to exercise by walking the stairs, get someone on the phone with you. Hehe.

Latest development:
My front teeth hurt. Yes, just the 2 front teeth. The right one more than the left. And it was the kind of pain that even when your tongue lightly comes into contact with the tooth, you felt like you were going to faint with the intense pain. But I was looking in the mirror at the end of the day and I realized my front teeth had straightened out considerably as compared to when I had first put on braces. woohoO!

千二百五十五: It Always Happens to Me

Guess What!!!

Something happened, something that should be a happy thing but it's happening at a wrong time!!! I'm so mad, I just settled in nicely with my current situation liao and this comes around when I've already given up hope. crap!!

千二百五十四： Poke Poke

I wonder what comes to most people's mind when they see the word "poke". Something long? something dirty? or pokemon? wahahaha!

the hole (ulcer) in my inner left cheek is getting bigger and worse. i actually can poke the ulcer with my tongue and feel abit of the meat/skin flapping. (o.O) gross huh?
I might be a masochist. Even though that ulcer is hurting like mad, I can't help but push my food over to the left side of my mouth to chew. it's just habit i guess. and then end up the rice or small bits get stuck between the ulcer and my gum and i can't get it out and it stings worse. heh.

千二百五十三: Rainy days

The rainy days are here again.

Every afternoon, about 2-3pm, it will be time to shut the windows and door to avoid a flood in the workshop. the thunders would sound before the sky turn dark and then the rains would start pouring. In the mid-afternoon rains, it was a best time for a nap... so I would become lethargic and my brain would become woozy over until I reach home in the evening. :p

the hole in my cheek getting bigger. and the one on my tongue too.. *sobz* I can only countdown to the next dental appointment..

千二百五十二: MotorShow 2006

I went to the Motorshow at Suntec today.

It was a disappointing event.

there were very few brands on display, it was the same old ones minus a few. MINUS.... and we finished the show in an hour half.

I wasn't planning on coming out at all, but Ray jio-ed and i hadn't met him in about 2 years so i relented. I had only wanted to meet him for dinner, but he said he would pay for my motorshow entrance fee so we went in together. we weren't intending to see the stunt performance anyway, we had watched the one 2 years ago together, still Russell Swift anyway so we tot we would take pics of pretty showbabes. but.. there were none. (T.T) they should really improve their QC for the show girls. seriously. we finished the show really fast and decided to go for dinner at marina square, at CHanging Apetites. not too bad the food, but i had to brush teeth after that again and Ray was very amused. heh. it was a nice outing, even though we hadn't met in 2 years, the closeness was still there but he lives abit far away now. hougang. when he used to live in Bukit Panjang. argh. thanks for all the treats today, he treated me for the meals also. heh. we had ice cream after that, walked thru marina square, i was looking for sweaters but nothing very nice.

so we parted ways at about 9pm, i came home and had to eat another dinner. i hadn't know that i was going out for dinner until like past 1pm when Ray msged me and Mom had already started on the soup for dinner so I had said i would eat when i'm home. and i did eat the whole thing, only just finished dinner because of the hole in my tongue and my cheek (it hurts to move my mouth at all so i had to chew very very slowly) and the dinner took me a few hours. haiz.

exams in 2 weeks. help!!!!

千二百五十一： Casino Royale

Great movie!

Daniel craigs became quite charming in the end, cos of his action skills and beautiful blue eyes. hehe.



despite his looks being not as great as pierce brosnan, this episode was so high on action (think Jackie Chan) rather than gadgetry, that it brought me to the brink of my seat for the whole movie. The theatre at GV Grand was large and the seats next to me was empty so i didnt have to worry bout chittering people beside me.

thanks CS, the movie was pretty exciting.

the taxi ride home was quite interesting too. The driver chatted with me and I asked him about the taxi fare hikes and also tried to think about where he could pick up more passengers at such a time of the night. It was a strange phenomenon, there were many people waiting for a cab but none were around. we went past the suntec carrefour queue at about midnite, and it was such a long queue but not a cab in sight.the driver was puzzled while this happens every friday night also.

today went to the Orchard library to study. they had the double your borrowing limit promo and we took the chance to borrow alot == heh. mostly chick lit, light reading. the library is too cold.

and had dinner with the family at AMK central market. had oyster fry and pig's trotters and satay beehoon. not alot actually, i'm feeling hungry again..

And i've paid my first instalment for my course, waiting for the text to come. can't wait.. then i can start doing my readings liao.. i prefer to study than work definitely..

千二百五十：Stress Level↑

Everyone was so cranky this morning. My mum was on the edge the whole time, raising her voice at the slightest problem. After I got my work, she kept standing behind me to monitor, like I didn’t know how to type the stuff at all. Which made me cranky also, cos I hate people to assign me stuff and then stand behind me when I already said yah, I understand liao. If you have the time to stand behind me and look, why don’t you just do it yourself?

I was wondering why so late still haven’t received the invitation for June’s wedding. So I asked the rest of the class. … apparently they had received le. I had been forgotten. ….. wah liu. Very sad. Thanks to those who tried to console me.. but after I heard the date, think I can’t go anyway. Have lessons on Saturdays from 2-5.30pm. sighz…. First JC classmate ‘s wedding and I miss it. & somemore I have never been to a church wedding! Wonder if it’s really as touching as in the movies.

I’m a little hooked to reading the flowerpod forums these days. At work especially. Hehe. Its like the only contact with the outside world here and I’ll just open up all the pages and d/c from internet and slowly read my way through all the threads. Yesterday, I checked the HWZ forums also, and also started looking at some of their more interesting threads like travel. I dunno why some people like to sound so know-it-all. This guy asked for opinion on a certain group tour to Japan, and this moderator of the thread replied in such a horrible tone. Like.. “if you want to go on this might as well don’t go”. He’s apparently an advocator of free and easy tours from his earlier replies in the thread, but the thing is not everyone is so adventurous and some are not as street smart and will probably feel very helpless in Japan where so little English is spoken. Yah, we might be able to read Kanji, but not all signs have kanji as well. Such unconstructive replies without knowing the background of the person asking for opinion are really a turn-off. Like what if that guy is bringing his grandparents there etc? in that case group tour is definitely better isn’t it. Transport totally arranged, nice lodging, there’s a guide that they can turn to in case of emergency etc. better for the elderly isn’t it?

Casino Royale tonight. The new James Bond is so not handsome as compared to Pierce Brosnan. I hope his acting is good enough to cover for that. The dress code is abit confusing, for girls, smart casual is like.. shirt and skirt? Pants? And I dun wan to dress in office wear just to go for the movies. So I hope my outfit is a good mix of smart casual and having fun. Hmmm. I realized I dun have any dress pants.

I wish Ryo would reach home soon. All my winter wear are at his place and I need to confirm if there’s anything he can’t find etc but he’s on business trip and there’s some extension of his trip and he delayed his return. Argh.

千二百四十九： girl looking out of window

this photo is so pretty!!!

千二百四十八： Errands..

today was a mad rush.

I was worrying about having to bring tons of cash or that my acct not enuff money for the air tix payment and was wondering how I should pay, whats the limit by NETS etc. in the end i deposited everything into the OCBC acct and paid by nets both sides. unluckily, my ocbc card had a stupid 1k daily usage limit i didn't know about. HUH!??!? then i was like shit, how to get the other 100++ out? wat if the UOB one oso got limit?! then how to pay the left over money?? it was really qian1. at first the UOB NETs deduction worked fine, then the OCBC one didn't and I went to withdraw cash instead. so I came back, paid the cash and there was the remaining 100+ i couldn't withdraw. I told the girl to use the UOB nets to deduct and the NETS machine went bonkers and refused to let anything through. (No dial tone, out of range blah blah) in the end, the lady called her sup and asked if they could waive the surcharge on the remaining amt (not my fault mah) so i could pay it by credit card instead. hehehe. yay! can put off that 100+ payment until my next month's payday. thanks to my sis for loaning me cash first. -.- after the braces' deposit this month, my pocket'S abit tight.

after that delay while paying for the tickets, I had to rush down to funan to collect the gifts from Starhub. for re-contracting another 2 years, they gave me a Samsung mp3 player. one of the newest, can't remember the model, its 4GB and white and looks abit like the Nano. and oso a $100 robinson's voucher. hoho. Humid day today, and after that was abit running late for Japanese lessons le, so i walked all the way to opposite the Padang to take 167 to reach the building. dunno if thats actually nearer than taking MRT and then walking all the way to the exit of LauPaSat. hmmm. I'll check when i'm wearing more confortable shoes next time.

a little more than a month and i'll be getting hugs again! yay!!

千二百四十七：GST as Robin Hood

Last night, my sister told me her uni prof for her taxation class had laughed at the idiocy of the reason for the GST rise. Using regressive taxation to help the poor indeed. This morning, another economist was speaking on the radio with regards to the issue. He agreed that the rich spent more and will definitely be prone to paying more tax, and yes, the taxation from the rich would probably be pooled into the fund. But his question was that is the rise from taxing the rich 100% going to be used to subsidise the rise in GST burden of the poor? Definitely not. So no matter what, expenditures would definitely be rising for the lower income earner. Sighz. I hope we don’t see more MRT suicides after the tax has been implemented. If in general, pricing of goods increased, wouldn’t the 5% tax be of a larger value as well? In that case, increasing the prices of luxury goods would help both the retailer and the government right? The only losing party would be the rich buyers of those goods. If they do that while maintaining prices of necessities low, then they would really be doing some real Robin Hood action here, ie, “robbing” the rich to help the poor.

Last night was very strange. I went to sleep early, about 11.30pm? And I fell asleep with the lights on, cos my sis was in the room at that time. I heard my mum calling me “Ting ah, Ting ah” and I was in the middle of my dreams and I thought it was morning already with my mum trying to wake me up so I opened my eyes. Darkness. It was the middle of the night and my mum was in her bed sound asleep. !!! I thought maybe it was just a dream but it happened another 2 times after I fell asleep. Both times woke up to see no one and yet the voice had been my mum’s, so real and very insistent that I wake up. So creepy! When it was really time to wake up this morning, of course I could barely get up. #^%&^

千二百四十六：molar braces

this is a very traumatic process. I do not wish to elaborate but there's something that looks like the olden days prison handcuffs with spikes capped on my baby molars. sheesh. and when they pulled out the separators, i thought all my teeth were going to fall out. it was painful....

i need to do many many things tomorrow. hopefully i wont forget any. cos all are very important!!

千二百四十五： Small pieces of joy

Today began as a horrible day. I couldn't sleep last night worrying bout whether I would be able to get the air tickets on the flight I wanted (needed) and only managed to sleep after tossing and turning until 3-4am. It was the only timing I could fly, given that there was lessons that day, and there was only that one day that Maya would be in Japan still as she was leaving on holiday as well.

Woke up grumpy, and my dad ruined the chee cheong fun they tried to save money by cooking instead of buying from the hawker by scrimping on the soy sauce. -.- without the soy sauce, chee cheong fun is like yucks lor. he kept saying it was nice, (because he never ate any himself!!) and my mom thought i was just being difficult until she ate a piece herself and she also said it was yucks. my sis too. HAH. it wasnt me!!! grr. i still tried to eat a few pieces but it was really horrible. and i kena scolded for being grumpy. sighz.

and I called the ticketing and they said the SQ flights were all sold out on the time i wanted. I was put on the waiting list. sighz, and i was forced to reserve JAL seats instead. the taxes for JAL were nearly a hundred bucks more expensive.

then in the afternoon... i got an invitation to watch Casino Royale this friday! hehe.. thanks CS! i was looking at my accts, thinking i cant spend any money this 2 months cos of the Japan trip and having to pay for 2 tix in advance next week, and this invite is like one of the brightest spot today. hehe.

of cos gd things comes together, then the ticketing person called and said i got the SQ seats! yay!!!! so happy, can save that amount of money. and of cos SQ entertainment is definitely better haha.

so.. a shitty day became a pretty ok day in the end. 2nd dental appt tomorrow, abit dreading the adjustments cos i finally am able to eat somewat normally today again. argh.

千二百四十四：Classmates

Just read from a class email that one of my sec sch classmates has become an SIA stewardess after a 2 year stint as an auditor in one of the Big4. wow! i guess no matter how corporate or how much education one has, it still is pretty much every girl'S dream to be a stewardess at least once in her life. so lucky!!!

千二百四十三： Mediocre Plans

I think I can forget about the upcoming interview. Suayz.

I emailed them to ask when it would be and there was no reply. In this situation, it would probably be safe to assume that I should book my air tix next week already. given that its already middle of November next week. I'll just take up Hawx's offer on being a full-time tutor next year bah. ah well.

I re-watched Beautiful Life yesterday, and it still managed to move me to tears. The ending is sooooo sad!! (T.T)

The course is going to start on 1st Dec. I haven't got the letter of confirmation yet, but I don't think there'll be a problem there. I want to do something i'm interested in for a change!! People keep asking me, you got computing degree, IT should be ez to find job now, but I dun wan to do IT! I can't program, I dun want to do anithing related to IT unless its in a game company so yah, I was stupid and made a mistake in taking Computing ok?!

argh. I'm still very young, I am sure I can do something right still.

千二百四十二：Sick sick sick

growl.

i am sick. with fever and flu. again. haha. i am weak i noe. can i blame it on the braces? the trauma it caused by depriving me of my food. hmm,. end up i am the person at fault. cos i made the decision. sighz.

yesterday
i ate
1. Breakfast: Chee cheong Fun
2. Lunch: Fish Slice bee Hoon
3. Dinner: claypot bee hoon

haha. my menu is about fixed for breakfast and lunch. easiest to eat, dun hurt me and ok delicious i guess.

but there's improvement! i can finally chew my vege stems. the thinner ones though. and i tried a piece of sotong yesterday and after gnawing at it for a while, i decided to just swallow it pretty much whole. hah.

is it flinty to blog in one-sentence paragraphs?

i had a good rest last night. it might be due to the pills. i had a strange dream of CL and his delicious bod. but in my dream, i had such determination that i walked past him while ignoring him. haha. and then the part 2 of my dream, i was in japan. i was speaking jap! haha. wat a dream. i remember ryo asked me what language i dream in. English or chinese. now i can say jap oso. hehe. yah dreamt that i was with a bf (the person feels like a bf but dun think it was ryo hmm) , and he was so cute. hm. yah. thats all i'll say about him. oh. he reminded me of those guys in the boyband Kat-tun though. haha. and then i woke up at 12 noon today.

studying through the weekend i suppose. --cheers!

千二百四十一： My Meals

Yesterday..

Breakfast: Oatmeal (yah my dad really cooked that)
Lunch: FishBall Kuay Teow soup
Dinner: Tao Huay + grass Jelly Drink

Today

Breakfast: Chee Cheong Fun (it gets stuck too... -.- the sesame seeds and the cheecheongfun itself)
Lunch: Fish Slice Bee Hoon
Dinner: Yoghurt (1 small bottle from carrefour)

Yikes. I really feel that I have already lost weight. I realised that the metal in the teeth do not allow me to eat any hot food. they hurt uncontrollably when I ate lunch today and when I drank a cold canned drink, it was heaven! hah. the metal felt numbed after the drink. I was wondering around dhoby ghaut in the evening thinking what I could eat as dinner when I reached carrefour and yoghurt came to mind. woohoO! great idea. it really filled me up. unfortunately, they didnt sell any yoghurt that had spoons and I had to get a pack of plastic spoons just so I could eat my yoghurt. -.-

First time meeting up with kev/weez? in real life (as in proper sitting down chit chat hang out) it was quite fun!! hehe. caught up with him about hall people, and I realised i cant even remember some of their names le. was I unconsciously trying so hard to forget that unhappy stretch of life? hmm.

千二百四十：I want some ice cream!

I did not bargain for this.

I can’t wash my face properly (especially under my nose cos if I scrub there, I could cause major ulcers by pushing my upper lip area onto the braces), I can’t apply my facial products properly too. Argh. My appetite is very good but I can’t bite! Grrr. I tried to lightly bite into my favourite vegetable stems last night and I felt my upper tooth nearly chip off when I managed to chomp thru on the first bite onto one of the brackets and of course a searing pain through my gums. Eek! So cham?! In the end, I could eat only rice, (cos I don’t chew my rice anyway) tung hoon, fishball and .. ice cream. Hahaha. An excuse for me to down ice cream as a proper meal. Basically, only things that weren’t crunchy were edible. I tried to eat water melon after the meal but apparently, that was unchewable too. When I brushed my teeth, it hurt like crazy (a very sore feeling in the teeth, maybe the teeth were actually being tightened liao) and at the end of it, I looked in the sink and saw a piece of vege, a grain of rice and a piece of 1 cm fish ball, all the remnants from my dinner had come out from my braces. -.- I guess I have to bring a toothbrush with me at all times liao… Also, my lips felt permanently dry (can’t close my mouth totally le) and my sister asked me why I was baring my teeth at her. Hahaha. I was doing that unconsciously I guess, trying to avoid contact of my lips with the braces. Ah. Never mind, a year will go by pretty fast. Maybe my teeth will miraculously move even faster? Hoho.

Anyway, I’m checking out air tickets for a trip in December. It’s abit of a hassle cos I can’t book yet, and the lower priced seats are going out fast. I should just go ahead and book it since there hasn’t been any call yet, they can’t expect me to put my life on hold just to wait for them I guess? Anyone want to go at the same period too? 21st Dec to 3rd or 4th Jan, I’m flying to Osaka/ Tokyo. If there are a few more people we can use the JAL or SQ promotion for those 2 to travel together or the 4 to travel prices. Tell me ok? Thai Airways has the cheapest tickets but they have to be booked by 14th Nov (Next Tuesday?) An impossibility. Sighz.

千二百三十九: Braces

I finally got them!



and my teeth are really super crooked after the braces are on. darn.

the process was weird. All I remember was the dentist keep saying "close your eyes!" and then they went on to stick the metal parts and the wire etc. He tried to extract the remnants of a back tooth but I dun think he succeeded. and then he said my canines were too small to attach the metal piece, so he skipped them until after my front 4 teeth were straighter and tighter.

I can only taste metal now. & I'm afraid if I bite anithing, the metal brackets will come off.

I got the yellow parts by accident. I thought it would be braces with rubber bands or something but apparently not, yet the dentist picked the brackets with yellow and red (very nice colours) dots on them. :) but seriously can't smile widely liao. shy and i think i look funny.

千二百三十八：Tomorrow is tuesday

so fast, tomorrow something life-changing will be done to me.

Like YY said, its a irreversible process. abit scared. but then I chose to do it myself. Hopefully it won't turn out like her fren who actually looked uglier after the whole process! hehe.

felt very very uncomfortable today. Still didn't sleep well, I kept dreaming and and woke up a few times again. headache at work and kept making stupid mistakes. Felt like shouting when they kept asking me questions about things that weren't my fault. I mean, I just type what's there, you blame me if I type wrongly cos I can't see your bad writing? ARgh.

There's a bugger who kept messaging me asking whether I am busy. I don't want to meet him at all, because he is the touchy feely type of person and just thinking of him makes me feel disgusted. Once I saw him 3 years ago and he saw me and we just said hi and he tried to put his hand around my waist while talking to me and I was thinking WTF?! and squirmed out of his way to a safe distance b4 making some excuses and escaping. YUCK YUCK YUCK! I hate to have physical contact with people I'm not close with, worse if it's a guy, these people really gross me out. even on the train or bus, I will try to have a safe space around me by sticking my feet or elbows out. I made it very clear that I don't want to meet him liao, yet he still keeps bugging me. How many times must a guy be turned down to get the message? I rejected at least 4-5 times when he messaged by saying, oh I'm busy, got other appts liao, blah blah. but he keeps messaging at least once a week like "still busy?" and if i don't reply him he will send msgs like "wei (oi)" and I just ignore of course. come on la. I hate it when people talk to me like we are very close/old friends when we are not very close, barely even, and worse still, act cute guys. already 30+++ still talk like that. yuck!!

千二百三十七

I dunno what to name this. I've seen the doctor, feeling slightly better, but apparently the doctor can feel something wrong with me. Asked me if I had any agitations, any horrible news lately, any shocks. I dunno wat to say. My mom was there so I said no? I dunno what to say. He said I had static built up (i went to a chinese doctor) and I lacked oxygen. I don't know what that means.

My mom got more naggy when I said I might go Japan again. She threw her stupid tantrums, Got all black-faced when all I said was MIGHT. MIGHT. MIGHT! what the hell does she want from me? she would rather I keep quiet and go quietly?

千二百三十六: Silence

I dunno why. The happiness/unhappiness scale has tipped down on the unhappiness part heavily.

I need to have someone to confide in, I have this massive headache from not having slept well for the past week. I wake up 2 - 3 times every night, I have nightmares about anything and everything and I miss him I miss him so much that I am on the verge of jumping into the abyss again. I don't want to do anything wrong, I need just someone to comfort me, to give me a hug and to stroke me on my head and tell me things are going to be ok and just let me have a good cry and cry until the tears are dry. I need some human contact, I need to feel some love somewhere, not feel invisible to the world. Anyone?

千二百三十五： Nolstagia

I was too sleepy last night, forgot to say we drove the Fong Seng for our dinner. It was actually an impulse decision, we were thinking that the AYE would jam on the way to Vivocity, so I decided to direct her to drive by the NUS way, to go by West Coast. Then we started to talk about Fong Seng and we decided to have our Nasi Lemak dinner there. haha. Luckily, we are still young enough for people to think we might be undergrads when we cut through Eusoff. :p hehe. despite her having a big tummy, maybe there are more cases of married and pregnant undergrads nowadays? heh.

today was a sleepy day at work.

I've totally forgotten bout the happiness problem. All the things I haven't talked about were the relationship stuff? Friends, Family and BGR. Friends, very few of them that I've met up with. After I came back from overseas, my circle of friends have shrunk dramatically. Nowadays I meet up with the same few people almost everytime I go out (I seldom go out anyway hah) which is not a bad thing, cos I only go out with the people I enjoy the company of anyway. (as mentioned in a long ago post) Family I see them 24-7 -.- and it is abit too much but I guess nowadays my priority is saving money and studying rather than go out to avoid quarrels. We still quarrel (me and my mom) but I guess the longer I'm back, the more I just clam up. BGR almost non-existent with the looks of it, contact is minimal. One or 2 emails a day? or less. I guess I'm used to that to be upset but its not the quantity of the contact i will be upset about, its what is said when we do finally talk that causes grief usually. oh well.

Weekend tomorrow. I have been looking forward to the chance to sleep in since monday. I need sleep!!!

千二百三十四：The Departed

The movie was one of the best remakes i've seen so far. Somehow, the mafia feels alot more scary than the HongKong triads. Leo Dicaprio was great. He was really Tony Leung good in the show and I actually could feel him going mad. Unfortunately, the Kelly Chen role in the Departed was not developed further at the end. I wan to know what happens to her and who is the father!!

Abit late, dunno why all the movies i've been watching lately are 9pm++ shows at Vivocity. The volume of the movies are too loud there and the aircon very very very cold (my specs always fog up when i come out of the cinema) but the seats are very spacious. which is great cos people can go to the toilet easily and latecomers have a comfortable aisle to walk through. Got myself a v-neck sweater at Topshop (my first clothing piece bought in 4 months!), must find some occasion I can wear it in. I also made an appt for Next Tuesday to start with the braces. can't wait, but then this weekend I must EAT b4 i regret not having eaten. haha.

千二百三十三：Pink

my Gap shirt is pink. it was white. (T.T)

I don'T know how it happens, my red t-shirt always runs when my mom washes it. I have washed it thousands of times in Japan in the washing machine with other clothes and nothing happened b4. not once. She doesnt noe that you should separate darks and whites? a moment of laziness/ assumption that the shirt wont run cost 5 pieces of clothing their life, some which are not cheap. and she still asks why i keep wearing black. and my stupid sis took my GAP shirt and wore it w/o my permission. and she had to suayly throw it into that batch of unlucky clothing to wash and guess wat. it's of course ruined. i don't mind lending people clothes if they ask, but to take without asking and then ruin it!!! tmd! i am angry with her, cos i was thinking I thought i saw this shirt safely in my cupboard yesterday? KNS!!!

and I went to another Dentist today. yesterday's dentist called and quoted me $3800. frankly, I was shocked. of course, I began scouting around for other cheaper places on flowerpod. Apparently, the dentist at Bukit Gombak MRT had quite a good reputation and was about $3500 so I called and went there for a consultation. They took an xray and the dentist was really nice, explaining to me what needed to be done. They were flexible with the payment as well, and they explained to me more clearly the costs and the pros and cons of the different types of braces. I think I want to, but then I keep thinking do I need to? I can't imagine myself with straight teeth at all, dunno how it will look. If my bottom teeth are straight (now they are leaning towards my tongue), wont they hit the top teeth? hmm, at least i got time to decide, since i dun need to put the things to space out my teeth in preparation for the braces. cos I have too much gaps in my teeth liao.