feeling so boliao today that me and my sis took lotsa stupid picts with the web cam.. hehe..
here are some of them:




:) we're both pretty cute pple.. wanted to take stupid shots with my other sis oso but she was feeling too grouchy.. lol

just came back from auntie's housewarming... their house is super small!! made my tiny flat feel realli spacious in comparison.. ;) anihow.. today pretty uneventful.. was supposed to get new furniture from ikea with parents to increase storage capacity in my room.. but dad was late and we couldn't go aniwhere cos we were late for the housewarming.. it took us an hour++ to find the place in punggol.. so ulu!! i won't ever live aniwhere except in the west even after i'm married.. it's just so much more convenient here!! itchy to go out now.. but go where and how? sianz..

made a huge boo boo today.. did not know that tut was supposed to start oni 2 weeks later.. and woke up at 7.30am.. oni to reach the tut room and see no one there.. oops!!

didn't want to waste the morning, wanted even to join a fren's CE lecture just to take a look, but he was having lab so couldn't sit in.. hehe.. in the end went to the library to print the readings for the next tut.. so silli!! but the library was realli veri nice and quiet in the morning.. veri veri conducive for studying..

went with xinhuan to clementi for her lunch and grocery shopping.. i had no appetite and did not eat.. and on the way back, we were behaving like 2 mad women.. haha.. dunno why the topic turned to boys and their disgusting habits and we just couldn't stop laughing hysterically.. hiakz.. :) hehe.. turns out that her bf's a slob... boys who are NOT slobs are so much more appealing.. n of course more of a turn on than boys who ARE slobs... :P i think girls would agree that seeing a mess and a room with bad smells do not turn them on.. haha..

had ice cream yogurt for lunch.. (where's all my appetite?!!) actualli felt full.. can't believe it.. and then had a milo.. which actualli made me feel like puking.. arghh.. so weird..

had to rush home to help out with the comp inventory system training thing.. the system's pretty useful.. but alot to learn.. and learn more abt office politics etc.. yuch.. i dun feel gd to be in the middle of all these deceit and plotting!! of course i dun want my dad to lose out, or go bankrupt.. but it realli is sucky that he had to resort to such measures to save his firm... :( feeling super drained, emotionally and mentally, dunno why...

had dinner at nooch with andy.. glass noodles is actualli tung hoon pple!! dun be tricked.. was quite freaked out at one point when i was ranting bout raymond regarding the project to him and andy suddenli pointed to outside the window and said, "ay, isn't that raymond?" tot he was joking until i turned ard to realli see raymond waving at me.. EEKS! haha.. lesson: nv speak bad abt pple.. u nv noe when they might appear behind u.. :P he was with his gf of course.. she looks pretty sweet.. but i still cuter.. haha.. bhb man.. :P

going to take CFA level one next year after i graduate.. prolly one of the best decisions i've made i suppose.. useful and accredited. thinking of doing an SIM degree in biz or finance as well and a design diploma at la Salle at the same time. wonder if its too siong? but i realli wanna accomplish as much as i can in studies b4 i'm 25.

finalli dropped french 2 from my mods this sem.. it was pointless, i didn't understand the lecturer, didn't like his attitude, didn't like his way of teaching (he taught french in french and explained wat we didn't noe in french. if i understood wat he was saying, i dun think i would have been taking elementary french at all in the first place.) well.. now i oni have a 10hr week.. anione wanna compete? :P haha.. more time for my projects hopefulli.. and also a bachelor's with merit if this sem goes well? *fingers crossed*

went to support boi boi at WCG.. he was knocked out after getting into top 16.. but jeffrey stayed on until he's in the top 4 now i think.. not bad.. although its a pity he can't represent singapore in korea even if he wins.. haha.. indonesian citizen.. so wasted..

hung ard until 11 b4 he finished and we all took bus back together.. had no dinner yet.. can't believe i dun mind starving for frens.. weird siah..

boi boi going to bring me to buy cK watch for my bday!!! *muakz!!!* thanks boi!!! yay!!! my veri first super nice and ex and feminine watch as a present on my 21st bday.. yay!!!

i've been feeling like this...
"I'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell.. i know rite now u can't tell, but stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me"

:(

Matchbox 20 - Unwell

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Makin' friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
and I don't know why

Chorus:
Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Me,
talking to myself in public
And dodging glances on the train
And I know
I know they've all been talkin' bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think that there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinkin
Somehow I've lost my mind

Chorus

I've been talkin in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're takin' me away

Chorus

Yeah, How I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
(A little unwell)
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

suddenli realised.. i should just stop watever i keep doing. i cling cos i'm afraid of being alone. of just doing anithing by myself. which is realli silly. but i'm afraid.. veri afraid.. argh. i'll just go dig a hole and jump down it. stilted conversations and silences are not fun. sighz.

finished up 3214 meeting.. die liao.. still haven finished class diagram.. quite worried.. and supposed to meet tutor tomolo.. the dumb tutor seems to think that we have no other life except 3214.. damn off..

the brownie at olio dome was good!! and cheap too.. oni $3.40 after discount with icecream some more.. :) the advantage of having a meeting at UCC..

science club was giving out free 8 days today, the newest issue some more.. wonder wat the special occasion was...

have to go for my first tuition session with junwei's kid later.. a little nervous since junwei mentioned he has an attitude problem.. but the mom sounded nice.. and my maths and science actualli are a little rusty, hopefulli can smoke him.. hehe.. according to junwei, he chats with him more than he teaches him.. so that's kind of an advantage to me? hehe.. at least its near my place, but the hours are damn late.. 8pm to 10pm.. quite off.. by the time i get home, it'll be eleven.. argh..

was veri irritated this morning when the faxes kept cutting my internet access.. ok lah, i can't complain, since its for the sake of family.. hope the company takeover and all will be successful.. its scary how frens can become enemies after becoming business partners. distrust, paranoia, and alot of secrecy and politics, tot my dad and his partner were originally frens... now he speaks of him in disgusted tones and personally, i'm pretty worried about this whole thing. i try my best to help out in drafting the proposals and letters without loopholes, but i'm not a lawyer after all.. (maybe i should be one.. i do think my letters are quite gd :P) and i dun wish for my dad to go bankrupt becos of a mistake in ani letter...haiz.. troubled times for the famili.. and sister wants to go overseas to study still.. i support that.. but would that mean i have to give up my ideals of becoming a designer?

we finished toking at 5.30am. i was surprised i was so calm. and i managed to smile and realli behaved normal. felt a little teary at first when he looked like he was was feeling realli guilty. why!?!! he feel guilty i should be happy instead i'm teary. i need mental help?! but overcame the crying mode and managed to make him feel better oso.. guess the thinking that "why she still so nice even after wat i did" thing was on his mind the whole time and that was pretty much wat i wanted to do... to seem mature enuff to clear up probs instead of remaining awkward and weird. ahhh.. i'm like an idiot lah.. realli didn't want him to look so *arggggggh* or in his own words: *aaaaaaaaaargh* .. i just couldn't stand to see him so unhappy or guilty such that he couldn't even look at me.. i gave him a note, with yesterday's movie ticket. the note was written with a few laughs inside even :P i think i'm realli an amazing individual.. hehe.. now he noes i properly noe, with no pressures on him or watsoever, and no pressures on me to do anithing but be myself in his presence, i think the frenship thingey will take off from there.. like i said b4, there's potential for great frenship, oni the circumstances of tension and unease was holding everything back. lucki he wasn't realli toking to xh last nite.. the dodo almost told her everything, even things i didn't. Grrrrrr... i guessed i just didn't let myself think back or focus on the "i still like u" part, just the "hey, sorri can we be frens" part. its working now.. i can see him and feel more normal than sad.. guess his sms last nite showed the diff in attitude liao lor... the most cheerful and upbeat smses i ever received from him.. :) happiness is when ur frens are happy cos of u :)

but i guess things are alright now.. i'm not worrying whether he likes me, he likes me not etc, and he no need to worry will she get the wrong signal? cos there's no signal in everything.. hahahaha.. managed to make him understand that as an ind, i need quite a lot of consolation and reassurrance, and its ok to show it as a fren lor.. at least managed to hug him b4 i went back to xh's room.. :) and the height's just nice for a comforting hug. :P

and KM, my note overwrites some things i wrote in the blog before hor.. just to clarify ;P

n boi boi.. hAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! sorri mi dear, forgot to wrote this in here earlier in the morning.. too much things troubling me.. i'm glad u love the present, and i hope i did satisfy ur "get u a gift u want but would nv buy" criteria.... :) all the best for ur quiz oso!! great 22nd years ahead.. try to have more academic achievements instead of other areas, yah? hehe :P

well. deception unveiled. judgement day arrives. oni honesty as solution now.

well. i noe now. he's out of my life. at least for now. dun ask me how i found out. i did and in a moment of clarity, i saw everything clearly. it hurts, hurts realli bad, just like another knife down my heart again. must focus now on not feeling depressed, not going to let myself struggle in that vortex of depression again. so hard to get out of it, it could drown me forever this time. no one to pull me out liao..

so sad so sad.. :(

sorri dear KM, i noe and understand how u feel.. i would have been a wonderful fren to u if u had oni given me some time to let my enthusiasm die off.. new frens are always exciting, and u wanna spend as much time with them as possible to get to noe them better. after the novelty wears off.. they are just frens who'll be there for u. i realli dunno wat to do now, how to nurse my hurt. if u think we'll be great as frens.. we will be but there can nv be a future liao.. i shut the door of my heart from u and u won't be able to enter again. .. although i realli think u would have been my perfect guy and i urs.

i hate to deceive u.. but u prolly would have nv said anithing to me at all urself unless pushed. i'm sorri. but at least i am clear now. it realli is a small thing to forgive me for as compared to wat i have to forgive u for.

had a good time at the movies today. :) or maybe the parts b4 and after that? hmm... he's abit too straight in his thinking.. but thats what i admire in him.. no matter how unwillingly.. :P

scared him last nite when i hid in his room while he was bathing.. haha so funny.. at least it broke some of the tension. :) so weird....

he looked so handsome at the bball match today, although i was abit pained at the roughness the other bball players handled him.. he was elbowed in the jaw and slammed.. Ouch.. not even ogling at ani other guys though they had gd physique. shit.. this must be the real thing.

haiz.. hope things will turn out well.

sorri to say i'm still dazed. for entirely different reasons. he had to spoil everything. the surreal feeling, the closeness, the feeling that i actualli have the right one for the rest of mine life, and that there will be no regrets no matter wat. he had to be a jerk. do wat all guys does best. take away the feeling u're on a cloud i suppose. why why why? i just wanted to be the person to make him smile and to get his hugs. was that too much to ask for? he asked for a step back, back to where we were frens and not anithing like a couple. i knew in my mind he was rite, we should noe each other better first. but wat angered me most was that he had oredi started to like make me feel like i was his gf n then now just dun wan to do anithing cos he's not prepared. am super hurt now.. that i opened my heart to him and he forced me to close it and still wanted the promise that there was a chance for us. i couldn't do it, i just couldn't. i can't look at him or go out as just frens. it's just not the same animore.

still dazed. nv felt so dazed b4 in my life. happy, veri happy, but dazed. no awkwardness no nothing.. like we been frens for a long time. its oni been less than a week.. yet how is it possible that i feel so much but yet not have known him b4? remembered him from the past IHG games.. n i think i remember seeing him in action b4.. and he remembers seeing me too.. :) and we're only still frens. nothing special, just frens.. rambling here liao.. still dazed from just seeing him for lunch.. :)

finalli home after an overnite in school... last nite read Man n Wife by Tony Parsons.. it was soooo good.. heartwarming, emotional.. veri touching.. finished the book in 2hrs and returned it to zhengchang.. went to his room yesterday.. it was pretty weird.. painted in red and table in black... urgh.. a little creepy.. and veri claustrophobic..

then finalli, had supper with a kind soul who offered to accompany me to fong seng when i mentioned while chatting that i was going to buy supper liao.. alone.. .. a cute one too.. hehe.. such a nice person.. and it wasn't awkward at all, not like i tot it would be.. :) had a good time chatting, then went his room to take a look and play PS2.. so coincidental that he also went tokyo in june.. !! and he showed me his photos of his tour while we remnicised about tokyo and how much we missed it.. finalli went back to xh's room to sleep at 5am.. dead beat this morning..

this morning managed to wake up at 10.. then went sci for lunch.. had to bring eleen khoo to the hospital in the afternoon.. and the freaking NUH service is super slow!!! waited in the children's clinic for 1 hr.. onli to be attended by a medicine student on attachment when our turn came.. he obviously did not noe wat he was doing, and he dilly-dallyed with his diagnosis until the real doctor came in and examined my sister's leg. within seconds, he detected a crack in her bone and had to put on a cast.. waited until 6.30pm b4 i could go home.. waste time man..

alot of things on my mind these few days.. been thinking if i should finalli put my foot to some matters i've been putting off for quite a while liao..

so sad.. no one wanna eat supper with me.. why why why?? and boi boi dun wanna see me also.. he dun want to make extra effort to see me.. haizz ..... sad...

finalli a long day ended..

after 2 days of sales, feeling pretty broke now.. the prescriptives sale yesterday was great!! cosmetics stuff at oni $5-$10.. AND today isetan sale.. all held in school.. can't wait for next such event..

Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?
brought to you by Quizilla

haha eleen khoo.. eat ur heart out!!!

long long day yesterday.. first lesson started at 10am, had to wake up at 8am to get ready.. was still late in the end!! ok, partly my fault there, i left the house only at 9.20am.. hehe.. but the lecturer was mean!! i only just missed like 5 min of the lecture and i totalli couldn't catch wat he was saying.. and what the question was asking.. (it was french class).. the girl who came in after me summoned up the courage to ask him and was given a sarcastic answer "you shouldn't be late if u want to catch the whole lesson" and he went on with the lesson. !! attitude problem man!! of course if u're a lecturer and can afford to own a car, u won't noe what us poor students face taking the bus every morning. the lesson went pretty much downhill from there.. its like, u noe the lecturer isn't going to be helpful if u dun understand any thing and it's damn sian..

after that went for 3214, the lecturer explained the j2EE structure.. but it didn't help if u couldn't make notes without a set of the lecture notes in hand.. read newspapers throughout the lecture and thought of wat to write for the TR3001 lecture..

after that had lunch with joey and sandy and then rushed to boi boi's room to finish my work due in the evening. the poor chap was sick, and "coughing blood" supposedly.. :P hehe.. well.. he looked well enuff to me (after he woke up), so energetic.. managed to finish my work and took a nap before going for the next lesson... couldn't wake up again and was late.. chronic unpunctuality (is there such a word?) seems to be a veri bad habit i'm forming.

formed a project group durin TR when we were forced to do group discussion! hahaha.. so happy, and i think 3002 also should have a group on the way as well. quite interesting lecture today, viewed the iDEO video, and the company was super cool! its corporate culture is wat everyone would want to have in their job i suppose, with its room for creativity and freedom of thought..

went for dinner/supper with xinhuan n her OG group at 1 am.. made a new fren.. he's yr 4 SOC comp engin, and we had much in common to grouse about the horrible faculty of SOC. he also felt the same, that he made a huge mistake in taking his course.. so we yakked throughout the walk back.. pretty nice person.. xinhuan walked me back and thurs i'm going to stay overnite at her place!! so fun.. since we didn't get the chance to tok much last nite also..

think cos i drank coke.. couldn't sleep until 5am.. woke up at 11am feeling strangely alert.. left b4 boi boi woke up.. and took everything of mine back.. going to take a nap now..

boring day.. oni highlight was when i went dinner with andy.. ate the super nice pasta in taka.. then walked ard abit looking for presents.. still dunno wat to get boiboi!! he said that if u buy a gift that the person has always wanted but nv tot of buying.. thats the best gift.. but wat's that?! ...

have a gd flight junwei.. will miss u... *sobS* another one leaving for US... haizz

was reading up the french text when i realised i did not remember a ton of stuff!! arghh.. have to revise properly liao..

sleeping liao.. tomolo have to wake up at 8.. arghhh...

went to qunci's house for her bday steamboat.. Happy birthday GURL! *applause* finalli 21.. actualli was jinyi's bday, 16th mah.. then she's 17th.. but we celebrated hers first lor.. the guys were quite mean.. made jinyi drink bout 3 shots.. esp worse since he not a drinker at all.. after that he got all dizzy and almost ruined her celebration.. but at least he wasn't all angry and mad like usualli ben chiek was.. hehehe.. :P welll.. after he puked.. he got all sleepy and started toking in tears about alot of weird stuff that was 61-related and pretty touching.. he was under a lot of stress i guess.. and he was worried bout the guys not being able to pass.. haizz... *tears* there was realli heavy rain and we sat with him until about 1am when the rain showed no sign of slowing.. finalli we made our way back and almost buanged in the rain... argh.. got a huge scare when a stupid bugger drove past us at super high speed and splashed water all over our windscreen and blinded us for 2 seconds... nearly dieded of fright there..

super alot of work to do b4 sch on monday.. have to piah and stay up late liao... sianz.....

Went to watch the league of extraordinary gentlemen.. it was great!!! action-packed throughout, there was no moment in the show that left audiences bored. even the ending left room for a highly-anticipated sequel. cool!!! :)

heard that boi boi had free alcohol, access to the VIP area, and lots of other perks at his job at Live n Loud!! grrrr..... i'm so jealous!!!! next time got such lobang tell me lah!! shucks.. u dun even need the money mah.... :P

gotta rush out my use cases liao.. thats the end of my relaxation...

had my french briefing this afternoon.. and i realised i did not noe wat the teacher was toking abt (in french of course).. there was this girl who kept nodding her head and then translated everything to us in english.. KAOZ.. showoff leh.. then saw a girl from last last sem who was in the same tutorial group as me.. we're bout the same standard oso hehe.. so prolli going to drown together.. :P

then went to the TR lecture.. New Venture Capital.. the lecturer was a partner in a alternative investment company, he was the venture investment specialist and the lecture was reali funny.. :) however, i did not noe a single person there.. :( and i think i'm prolly stuck with a sucky group again.. since they like mostly have their own frens to form groups with.. :( veri sian.. but at least i listened throughout the whole lecture (surprisingly) and surpressed all urges to run out due to loneliness... haiz.. prolly have to go onto the IVLE forum to look for a group liao..

blk having initiation now.. pretty fun.. esp the eating thingey and the pokey stick game.. hahahaha... but i'm not part of the blk now liao.. :(

started discussion on 3214 today and omigod.. there's tons to do!! haizz... quite flustered now.. better take out my 2103 notes to read up.. argh... have to piah finish all the use cases by sunday.. poor joey.. wonder how she's going to collate the whole thing.. drawing use cases is super tedious.. i wish u gd luck...

the SOC bazaar had an Indian stall that offered eyebrow threading for oni $4.. was pretty curious.. and it was cheap.. so went to try it.. it was horrendously painful!! :*( my eyelid smarted for bout an hour after that.. but it was gd.. and veri clean.. totalli new experience but OUCH!! now still hurting when i wash my face.. but at least i have tried something new.. :)

went down to the sports club bazaar in the forum with zhencang and met yingyan.. i DID not noe she was skating club president.. wah.. veri cool leh.. no wonder in her blog she keep kaopeh-ing the members.. and i must say .. this yr's freshmen guys look GOOD.. :P veri cute some of them.. *blushes* hee... but i dunno ani of them.. so they're just eye-candy lor.. there was a realli gd offer on the HP PSC1110 i think.. the printer-scanner-copier for oni $159!! better inform xq so that i can help him buy if he needs it.. and anione else who wants to buy it with this lobang price please oso tell me..

dunno why, was feeling realli sian last nite. veri moody and dissatisfied with everything. hmm. hope tonite will be a better nite.. last nite's thunderstorm was great! haven seen such magnificent display of lightning and heard such grand rumbling thunder in ages... it rained again today.. perhaps it's a sign that the heat wave is coming to an end?

had to wake up at 8 today.. so so tiring.. wanted to nap but instead liwei wanted to return me my book so had to go SOC instead.. met junyun and him.. hehe.. so we went to biz ad to have lunch and oso to watch dance blast.. they're trying to recruit members so did some promo thing at the forum.. pretty cool, although not realli much of an impact cos their music too soft.. went back to hall to realise that boi boi locked his door!! locked out and had to hang ard in the blk lounge for half hour or so b4 i could go back to get my stuff...

bought a photo album.. going to compile all the japan photos and label them... half way done.. veri tedious.. been spending the whole evening on it..

sianz.. tomolo have to meet up for 3214.. free day burn up.. knn... and it's oni the first week of school. :(

school starts today!!!! hahah... finally... my free day seems to be gone.. with 3214 proj and all.. took a nap in the afternoon cos my eyes were all swollen and ugly.. :P slept until 5 then went for lesson..

the product design lecture was pretty cool. the lecturer lectures at Harvard medical School in US!! scari.. he was from NUS, some dean's list winner in Medicine etc etc..

then came back for project Ikea.. super tiring but fun.. so gross, the things our blk girls made the guys do!! shall not reveal too much secrets.. but eeks!!!! gonna get nitemares tonite liao..

earli lessons tomolo.. sleeping soon!

went to sch for sheares carnival.. was great fun working with the freshies, esp lisi.. had a gd bbq dinner b4 rushing to illusion for briefing. i was quite happi until after that. had a big fight wif andy. sighz. cried and cried until eyes all swollen. had fight with mom when i reached home as well.

horrible day.

so sad!! feel like crying.. all was normal until he started tearing at the gate. and his sis started crying. and then he made all of us feel like crying.. *sobz* (yes, tears came to my eyes and i started sniffing too) didn't noe if a hug was appropriate, since it was xq, but in the end oni shook his hand a little awkwardly. sighz. no one to go kino with liao. or coffee bean. and to take stupid photos with. and no more class gatherings at his place liao.

*tears welling in my eyes...*

went ECP to eat seafood... food ok .. but wasted an hour plus detouring to esplanade and getting caught in traffic jams.. sianz... oni had dinner at 10 in the end.. then had a gd blow of sea breeze.. :P shiok! didn't start out a veri happy nite, but ended pretty gd.. :P

have to koonz.. sending XQ off tomolo at 7am.. sighz...

finalli transported all my stuff properly from old hdd to new.. how cool is this, i have 80GB of storage space now!! woo hoo!! boring boring day today, went to tuition in the morning, then rushed back to help fix the comp for my dad. i of course extracted the sound card from that comp for myself and the burner too.. super game machine now.. hahahaha... so shiok!! :)

going for a gd dinner later, parents struck 4-D last week.. hehe.. its been a while since that happend and i'm not going to miss this.

forgot..

HAPPY 38th NATIONAL DAY SINGAPORE!! :)

sooo sleepy. can't sleep yet cos i'm trying to move my stuf from the old hdd to the new.. sianz..

orchard was super crowded. most places were swamped.. esp restaurants. veri tired just now, feet aching.. did anione ever encountered their feet changing in size in the day? i did. weird..

SHeares won Best float design!! yay!! finalli something for the hall.. :)

hmm..

apparently there're inter-hall fBs as well.. interesting.. neighbouring halls somemore.. wonder if it's some one i noe.. :P

sad.

everyone's doing rag.. and the online status in icq / msn is pretty deceiving.. u dunno whether the person's there or not. else the person's just ignoring u?

...

was chatting with a fren today who had just moved into hall. he asked me a realli weird question:

" is it true that there're orgies in halls? and do u noe of FB? "

to answer his question:
1. no i dun think there're orgies
2. yah i noe of fB (f*** buddies)

he wanted me to intro him to some of these girls.. i told him to pick up his own girl FBs in his own hall with alcohol.

well.. finalli home sweet home after nearly a week.. missing hall oredi, but glad that i dun have to fight for the comp with boi boi ani more.. :P anihow.. being a booboo, managed to scald my hand while cookin noodles.. hurts!!! feeling a little empty inside, but prolly cos i'm hungry? no leh.. dunno lah.. just have this feeling like i won't be going back to hall animore.. the freshmen were realli nice.. helped eleanor with her modules and she said i was veri funny haha.. and also realli helpful.. :) and took YQ's scooter bike back!! so fun!! :)

i managed to monitor my module bidding until 4 am.. then had to wake up at 9 am to monitor the last bit.. damn the idiots who raised the bids.. now my general acc is almost empty. but i did manage to get french and my GEM!! hehe... super happy, all i need to do now is to get my last TR module and i can file for graduation.. *sob* so fast have to leave the sch liao.. happy but sad at the same time.. argh... i prolly need sleep..

sianz. just received phone call that tuition on saturday is 9.30am. off leh.. have to wake up so earli.

and abit sad that boi boi veri happy & relieved that i'm going home tomolo. haiz.. sad sad sad... i dun mean anithing to him? i see him as the oni person that could do me this favour of letting me stay, he noes how much less freedom i have now. and i oni noe him well enuff to dare to ask this of him. well.. apparently, when he has the company of his other frens, i guess our frenship is more of a burden to him liao. haiz. most guys are still jerks at heart after all...

today's the latest i ever woke up this holidays.. can see the hall bug creeping back upon me.. its weird, but in hall.. u can't ever get up on time.. the bed seems to suck all ur essence and consciousness.. supposed to be singing hall anthem to the juniors but has been postponed to nite so me slacking now..

super bored.. this orientation is totalli not filled with activities. but dun wanna go home as well. bit of a contradiction there. :P but hey.. i'm sure its more fun to nua in hall than nua at home. at least there are pple around periodically. and there's the freedom to move aniwhere anitime. at home, i think the inertia is alot greater..

realised i've developed the bad habit of being late.. the oni time i was actuali earli in like these few months was last sunday, but the rest of the time, i was late by at least 15 min.. yesterday was the ultimate, 1 hr!! heh.. sorri lah.. xq, not on purpose.. but reali had too little time to do everything, esp since i couldn't get up early also..

have decided to stay away from some pple for an infinite period of time. these pple are not gd for me, and will prolli lead me astray from the goals i'm struggling towards.. i can't say who these pple are, but i think i'm prolli better off without them.. it's difficult esp since i'm totalli afraid to be alone (yes, my worst fear is loneliness and i've done some stupid things due to extreme bouts of depression in episodes of loneliness), and worse still, i now am developing a phobia against making new frens. the struggle comes when there's no one to accompany me for meals/outings, (i hate doing things alone) and i have to struggle against asking these pple out. i develop an overdependence on frens.. which scare some pple away.. & which i always try to curb when i myself notice it.. but i realli mean no harm.. just need some company and also to noe that i'm being appreciated..

haiz.. foolish ramblings..

wah. didn't realised i developed so many photos. 200++ digital photos in 4R for bout $60..

some lessons learnt for best photo quality:
1. always use 2MP cameras in the the highest resolution else photos will turn out on paper to be veri pixelated
2. 3.1MP above is great for 4R.. even if oni mediocre quality is set..
3. blur photos will turn out to be blurrer on paper, and leading to the next point,
4. clear photos on screen may turn out to be actualli blur on paper
5. pimples on screen can't realli be seen on paper@! hahahaha.. (unless of course its a gigantic red zit rite in the middle of ur face)

hmm.. can oni think of these few things so far..

the pictures look great btw.. thanks xq! :) can't stop admiring myself.. hahahaha.. :P

woo hoo!! got a webcam as a gift!! now can try msn-ing with pple wif webcams.. hehe..

yesterday was war games.. water bombing actualli.. pretty fun to get dunked by bombs and to dunk pple with bombs.. but veri tiring.. cos of the hot sun i suppose.. and the constant lack of sleep..

met chris at fong seng when i went to dapao supper... as cool looking as ever haha.. but he was wif his frens so didn't tok to him..

watched boi boi play vietcong for a while.. it was quite exciting but then i fell asleep .. haha.. that was seriously how tired i was..now testing my webcam and rushing to meet xq to get my photos.. NUS flag day today.. please donate money pple!!

ahh.. today's cluedo game was fun!! heh.. and i was rite bout the murderer and his motives. hiakz.. *pat on the back for moi* heh.. managed to take a nap in the afternoon when the freshmen preparing for their skit.. a pity i wasn't there to see it.. went for dinner with 61ders as sort of a farewell to XQ and junwei.. can't believe it's xq's last weekend.. at this time next week, he'd be on the plane liao.. a little weird thinking bout it.. we went to sizzler's, can't believe everyone couldn't finish the food..haha.. the horrible salad bar filled us up b4 we could eat our main course.. hah.. but had a great time taking photos after that.. heh.. jenchyang appeared! surprisingly.. this is like the best turn out ever.. 18 pple for an informal class gathering.. and 2 overseas so not counted.. haha.. miraculous!! after that went to the esplanade for drinks.. but i like spent my $100 note almost all today.. so had to not order anithing.. haiz..

have to sleep now.. my eyes are closing..

can't believe i'm up at this ungodly hour. !! its 7am. i think i didn't sleep at all; as in my eyes were closed but i didn't sleep at all. lights off at 2.30am, but i have no recollection of sleep at all. i can even remember when i tossed and turned over to sleep on the other side. yet i dun feel sleepy at all. i do feel a huge sense of weariness though. but totalli awake. ....

whew.. had a super long tuition session today.. felt realli sleepy.. and the maths got realli tedious. and boring. *zzzzz* ani way...then moved on to chinese.. time passed realli slowly today.. dunno why i felt so tired.. slept at 2.30am and oni woke up at 10.30am.. weird. now i noe why tuition sessions are nv longer than 2 hrs. :P

packing up to go hall now.. actualli i hope to get a room on the waiting list.. but i'm quite worried bout the cost..

so tired.. did not sleep well last nite.. oni got the much needed cuddles at 4am.. *sob* anihow.. slept till 11am.. woke up feeling super achy and bored (again!) haiz..

went to clean up and saw a few male freshmen moving in.. not bad looking i must say.. :P then went for lunch with ding, vicky and alex.. finalli spoke to vicky for the first time.. she's quite frenli, & see them together hold hand so cute.. hehe.. and the picts they took in langkawi were pretty cool too! :) happening man.. but the cost abit the high..

then watched a game of CNC(generals) b4 helping the guys dye their hair.. it turned out a little patchy.. *sob*.. their hair too dark liao lah to start with.. !! then boi boi seemed realli pissed.. but hey... its worse doing it urself lor.. sorri lah.. if the freshie girls dun like u just cos of ur hair colour.. then they must not be veri nice pple lor.. :( sorri sorri sorri again... *bows head in regret*

going out for dinner now.. prolly going to sleep on the bus.. must remember to credit money to xq..