Flamingo pen

yupz.. this is the pen from Kana-san.
cute rite!?

23 years old

23 years old...

sounds super duper young still.

Ryo gave me a Prada bag he bought in Italy for my bday. a style thats only available there. my first Prada! and he brought me for french food for dinner. and the waiter surprised me with a mini bday cake and playing the bday song on the accordian. i was really embarrassed but secretly smiling in my heart. hee hee. just like in the tv shows. hee hee.

dunno why i was crying throughout dinner last night. perhaps the fact that this might be the last time i can celebrate my bday with him? i hope not.

very eng at work today. would have loved to get the day off but didn't since there was no one to spend the day with anyway.

hs gave me a 太鼓の達人PS2 drum set.wahaha.. now i can practise the game at home. u noe, the drumming game at the arcade with the big jap drums and u hit the beats to pop songs or something? yupz. that..

i don't feel any different. just more lonely. ate lunch by myself in the canteen today. no one i knew was around unfortunately. only 2 people remembered my bday. but i did receive a greeting card from my family .. thanks people.. and oso a present from my colleague, a flamingo pen. heh.. very cute thing. will show a pict soon.

laziness

been super duper lazy in updating my blog. guess mainly cos today there was nothing on. nothing much to do. except doing and re-doing claim forms. but at least i read my progress report and it was a good comment this time. that i improved alot in my jap! hee hee .. so happy.. (^-^) but then dunno why had a headache the whole day and almost slipped and fell twice. TWICE. man.... suayz.. but luckily it was only almost.

there was a lingerie fair today at Hankyu dept store and it was quite cheap. but everything was so lacy and granny! i dun like lace!! So itchy and causes me to scratch... unsightly areas haha.. in the end i hunted for the most plain things i could find that were not granny or obiang.. which i managed to haha.. so it was quite a gd buy in the end, just not wat i had wanted at first thats all.

best whirl pool picture

best whirl pool picture
Originally uploaded by alexxis.

yupz. here's one of the best photos of the whirlpools i took.. its a small one actually.. the big one travels at 30km/h.

this weekend has been quite fun.. we did nothing all friday.. and only rented New police story (Jackie Chan) to watch. gory.. argh, although it was exciting. i don't have the stomach for action movies anymore.

sat we went to the 温泉・プール　(onsen/pool) the pool was erm.. dubious.. there was hardly anyone around but the 温泉facilities were not bad.. massage showers and rejuvenating pools. pretty much relaxed after that. (^-^)went to the KTV after that.. the song selection and the input system were cool.. but the videos were not. even for the majority of the jap videos, they were not the real videos. which pretty much sucked since going to KTV is very much for the experience of looking at MTVs too.. after that we had Korean food for dinner.. 美味しい！！！ it was great.. almost the first time i finished all the food on my plate haha.. even the bean sprouts.. came back at bout 9.30pm , watched Kindaichi (金田一）on TV (very exciting murder story as always), and then Tru Calling on DVD b4 i zzz-ed. lazy 2nd day. heh..

today.. went to see the 鳴門 (Naruto) whirlpools at 淡路島 (Awajishima). apparently this time of the month was not very good.. so we could only see small whirlpools. but the boat ride was fun.. sunny and very very windy. enjoyed the ride immensely. but a pity bout the whirlpools. went to see flowers after that.. very wasted such that since it was the transition of seasons, the flowers were neither here nor there.. but at least there was the wonderful flowerhill that was super duper beautiful even without that many flowers..

work again tomorrow..... adios..

finally holidays again! haha.. even though just had one..

oh i just joined flickr.com to upload ALL my photos at one shot.. i keep getting downtime from the server and its getting kinda irritating.

however to see the photos i already managed to put up, www.flickr.com/photos/alexxis
its mainly the photos from the Yokohama trip.. still trying to upload and edit and change the privacy settings.. yuch.. going to zobo today.. tomorrow then sightsee heh..

Tuesday blues

back to work today. yuch. couldn't wake up today.. even though i slept at 11pm last night. man.. i'm turning into such a pig.

anyway.. work was ok today. it just feels different somehow, skipping monday.. but stupid kobayashi from pR team was giving me attitude. usually when we ask our colleagues to do some work we'll always like say "onegaishimasu!" お願いします！　meaning like "i'm depending on you!" .. but she just dumped the papers on my desk and stomped off. i was shocked. at her rudeness. if she does it again tomorrow i'm going to scold her or something. just cos she's older she can be so rude? old and single.. 33 still single. blah. if thats the way she is, its no wonder she has no suitors. pretty annoyed at her flirting with ryo (or trying to) in the office.. i hate it when girls laugh really loudly cos they sound quite crude (?).. loudly as in the hahaha kind of way, not even in the infectious way some girls laugh loudly but are still cute.. her kind of laugh is the kind you cringe at and think "shut up!" in your head. argh.

and.. this birthday is going to be the worst. ryo has a business trip on my bday and wont be back until 29th night. and i had to find out from his work schedule. not even straight from him. disgusted at him. and it turns out that Rob is quitting and his last day is my bday. so on 28th sep 2005, i'll prolly go straight home after work and just sit in my room crying and feeling sorry for myself. sianz.

had dinner with ROb today.. think the last time i ate with him was at least 1 month / more ago. it was fun.. we were drinking a little and i guess i felt lightheaded enough to suan him. was really embarrassed i forgot yesterday was his bday though. argh.

anyway.. more photos? from the Kamakura trip..


The gigantic Statue of the Buddha

and his gigantic slippers

back from the yokohama trip. it was great..

i got to see almost everything i wanted to .. the beach.. the sea.. the pacific ocean.. rocks.. (by accident actually) caves.. graves.. Chinatown.. ate chinese food all 3 days.. rode on a boat.. saw the 2nd biggest buddha in Japan.. went to the place (鎌倉）Kamakura where they filmed the drama 義経with 瀧澤 (Takizawa something) .. by accident again haha.. was thinking why were there so damn many people and why everyone (even the trains) was so into the show that they had pictures of that all around until I finally realised that was where they filmed the show hehe..

but the ocean was the best part. it felt great to be standing there looking at the vast space beyond with no land on the other side and to see powerful waves hitting the rocks again and again and with nothing on the mind at all.. the sea breeze against your face (ok not breeze but very strong wind) and the sun on your shoulders and looking at fishermen and families.. it was just wonderful.. the island was 江ノ島 (Enoshima) right at the end of Kamakura ...

leaving you with pictures of the sea and me..

been doing alot of thinking.

oh.. some digressing..
www.gamblingking.blogspot.com

hawx i think u will like this site.. with blogger's new scrolling blog features, i happened on this blog in the office!!!! horrors! luckily there was no one behind me and i could remove it with a click. argh!

but anyway.. back to the thinking.

i think men are all very selfish. even if they seem nice.

is it just me? or can anyone actually blame me for feeling suspicious of his not answering his calls everytime he is out with his friends for dinner or always in a hurry to hang up if he ever answers or that he doesn't volunteer or take the initiative to call me? seriously, who wouldn't feel paranoid esp once u find out that he has lied to you before. worse still, the girl he had lied about having dinner with before was a foot masseuse and he said she did give him foot massage b4 (who in the world becomes good friends with your foot masseuse from tokyo!!!) and now everytime i'll be wondering if she is giving him a massage (EVErYWHERE on him not just feet who will believe you when u say u only having a foot massage in the hotel room!) when he says he is having dinner with friends despite male or female.

haiz
...

getting ready for my trip to tokyo/yokohama. don't really know wat to pack. maybe i don't need anything. my bag seems really empty..

anyway.. gd nite.. have to get up at 4.30am tomorrow.

oh.. i was thinking why japanese people bow today. they prolly do it to hide their feelings of insincerity. like u noe u greet every single time u meet someone, say thank you etc etc.. you cant possibly mean it all the time. so to hide their real feelings and stop people from looking into their eyes, they bow. cool theory huh..

dreamt bout my family and the sixoneders last night. suddenly feeling homesick all over again. haiz.

today was ... feeling much resentment at my boss and his stupidity. i think he bears grudges too. when i didn't do anything wrong. maybe i am just oversensitive. but still.. finally friday and the long weekend tomorrow. phew.

got a white Nintendo DS.. yay! Ryo has a black one so now we can PictoChat.. i bought bomberman but i think i'll be playing mostly GBA games first cos my colleague can lend me GBA games heh..

today was a hectic day because there were so much materials to prepare but then there were mistakes all over in the materials and i kept having to reprint and insert into like 15 people'S copies. it was hell. not like it was brain work but it was just stupid admin work. seriously.. i keep wondering why i went to the uni when all i do is such work. ..

looking forward to the weekend: there are like 3 meetings tomorrow; time should pass really quickly.

i don't know why, but my colleague is behaving like a complete different person nowadays after she came back from her business trip from US. we used to chat at work/gossip etc but nowadays she always seems to be quiet and ignores or acts superior to me. i wonder if i did something wrong but i really dun think so..

argh thursday thursday thursday!!!!!!! at least next week its only a 3 day work week. damn it!!

hee hee.. still on a high after sMap Concert last night.

watching SMAPXSMAP now in fact.. but to tell the truth, after seeing them in real life, I don't feel much interest in watching them on TV anymore. can still remember Kimura Takuya's boyish grins from last night. argh... how i wish he was mine!! (probably the dream of the whole female population of Japan as well too.. hehe)

SMAP concert

back from the SMAP concert and it was GREAT! I'm glad i managed to sneak a camera inside and took some photos for memories.. it was 4 hours long... and SMAP people was sooooo cool. haiz..... going to dream of kimura takuya tonight..


the stage area before the concert



Kimura Takuya... *swoons*


my souvenir!


the crowd after the concert...... it was terrible.. mostly women as u noticed hehe..

Wow massive headache since yesterday.. partly due to the fact that I hit my head very hard on my samsonite while lying down (its at the end of my bed) and that the night before I hit my head on the dryer door while standing up because I had forgotten it was still open. Jialatz. I can seriously feel the effects of a slowing brain affected by all my knocks to the back of my head (where the brain is).

Watched another 2 DVDs of tru calling and a new guy turned up who had the same powers as Tru. Getting interesting but Jason Priestley (the new guy) had gotten so fat. Haha.. just me and this thing against uncool actors trying to act cool.

Fell asleep in the afternoon due to the headache and woke up in a very bad mood. The kind of nap that u wake up with a headache? I think it probably was just PMS combined with the hits on my head. And I was getting really sick of the warm weather too.

I got mad at him cos I wanted to at least go out in the evening but he just ignored me and took a nap when it was already about 5pm. So I got ready, woke him up and he was like “you can go out first if you want” and I got so pissed off that I slammed the door and went out. I had actually no destination in mind, just that I needed a bag for the long weekend trips next week and to trim my eyebrows I suppose.. so I stormed into the beautician but they told me the lady would only be free in 40 min and I was like hUH.. & was thinking it was just not my day.. went to the bookshop and got a Kanji text book and a Yokohama guidebook. Main aim was actually to go and see Chinatown but we had 3 days and I would rather plan. After that it was time for the trim and finally that guy called and asked where I was. Argh.

But the night was ok. His friend joined us for dinner and he looked happy to be able to catch up with his friend and I just sat there reading my book (the conversation was all about work and I didn't really understand what they were saying too). Went to the arcade after that but tonight was seriously bad luck. Had fun but wasted lots of money I suppose. Headache got worse and the cigarette smoke at the arcade probably did that.

But today would be better I hope.. cos it's the SMAP concert TODAY!!! Hee hee.. he left early this morning to vote so I’m blogging this time of the day (nursing my headache still boohoo)..

I had very weird dreams last night.

First it was a stalker (a guy from my uni who used to irritate the hell out of me who his sleazy talk) and he was trying to tell me he loved me but I was like full of disgust for him and of course he tried to talk sleazily again. After that, that guy morphed into the condemned guy in our Singaporean group here in Japan and I got so tired trying to escape from these disgusting people.

Woke up in the morning finally to end the nightmare when the alarm rang at 6am and had to push Ryo to wake up (he stayed over last night after reached back really late after a buffet dinner at swissotel and a medal game session at an arcade.. will speak more about that in abit). So I think I fell asleep after he got up and washed up and was half awake when he gave me the usual kiss before he left and I remember I felt his lips, cold from the tap water when he brushed his teeth. But I remembered he kissed me and I thought he sat down and I actually spoke to him about my nightmare when it occurred to me he was going to be late if he doesn’t leave soon. I didn’t realize it was a dream until I suddenly jerked awake when I sat up to push him to go and realized there wasn’t anyone there. It was a really disorienting feeling and I sat there a few minutes wondering what was dream and what wasn’t. Very draining.

Yah so last night, went to swissotel after 8 for their buffet. It was not bad since there was curry and dimsum but I dunno how come I got so full so quickly. End of it after I walked out, I actually felt like puking, being sooo full. Seriously. Felt exactly like when I have had too much to drink except that my head wasn’t spinning. Bad feeling. I stayed awhile in the really clean and nice smelling loo of swissotel until I felt better without puking and walked with Ryo slowly to the arcade. We had been there before, and he had a store of medals there and they had given him a complimentary 120 medals as a new signup. So we took the medals, sat down at a different huge machine to play. It was tough at first but we soon got the hang of it and overall total of the night, we earned bout 150 medals in profit. Haha.. it was quite an addictive game especially since the medals looked like money. However, I prefer our Capcom medal machines as the animation was much cuter. Apparently, there were challenges and jackpots on screen to get more medals out of and it was fun only if you understood that. Happy with our profits, we left at bout 11.30pm and barely caught the last train back. Yay for a good evening spent with him!

good morning Singapore!

It’s going to be the political elections this Sunday and it might or might not have a big impact on Japan’s history. Koizumi’s party had been ruling ever since WWII but it might change this year. However, from the Japanese people I spoke to, I think most of them will vote for Koizumi’s party again. He knows how to appeal to the urban voters with the privatization policies (keeping down government spending) while the guys (in his own party! How dramatic!) who were opposing his postal reforms were all trying to aim for rural votes by providing with jobs like building roads that lead to nowhere, dams etc.. basically providing employment and fiscal policies. It can only last so long I suppose.. how many more roads/dams can you build? And its not like the urban voters don’t see the waste of money in trying to provide jobs by these government projects. So I don’t know, it’s going to be an interesting fight. So if Koizumi wins, all the rebels from his party would be kicked out (cos they are running against him now) and he would have full support but if he loses.. mm.. I guess we’ll just have many more roads to nowhere in Japan haha..

pictures from the typhoon ordeal:

06-09-2005 Sky in the morning Notice how cloudy it was.


07092005 Today'S morning sky.. Super cloudy and windy..


in the end.. today was nothing. the sky was clear.. it was like nothing was going on. the weather was super clear when we reached osaka. and it was super warm even though it was windy. blah.

last night had chicken rice at swisshotel again. hee hee.. heaven. they must have at least half a chicken on each of our plates. it was so delicious. after that he came back with me and we watched another 2 episodes of tru calling. woohoo! finally there's some turning points in the story, the day that repeats itself again and again cos someone kept dying. it was horrible. but of course it was solved. but it was a very sad ending.

anyway.. today was quite a good day.. just very boring .. and i been feeling very restless this week. dunno why..

The Nintendo DS Nintendogs phenomenon.

My eyes are so red/swollen from crying last night. reading comics at work to cheer myself up. i think I might just start crying again anytime today and i don't think I want to do that. He only knows how to say hurtful things, never anything nice.

Typhoon No. 14:

Its now the typhoon period and obviously 13 have come and gone but we’ve been lucky such that none have affected us except skimmed past Osaka with a day of showers and hit Tokyo big time such that even the airport halted flights and Disneyland took a holiday. However, the next (No. 14) is going to do some heavy damage.

As you can see, the line is the path of the typhoon and Osaka is right in the course of it. I’m pretty excited since it’s my first typhoon but also, quite afraid of trains halting etc and me getting stuck in a crowded place with no air to breathe if transportation is zilch.

Saturday:

Saturday Ryo had lunch with me and Jaclyn. We went to くら寿司 again (Kura Sushi) cos it was the cheapest /nearest conveyor belt sushi place around. But it was fun… we chatted and I had loads of fun sharing food with Jaclyn and I think Ryo had a lot of fun listening to our lahs and lors. He’s even trying to imitate me and when I said “sorry Lor!” he copied me and emphasized the “LOR!” which was hilarious but a little irritating at the same time. I was a little offended that he made fun of me and my language. Grr..

After lunch, he drove us to sannomiya, Nankin machi (Chinatown area in Kobe) and we got off and spent the day wandering around the place. The Chinatown is really small but anyway, nothing new, but there were mooncakes and I bought thai rice and soy sauce. Hehe.. it was nOT easy lugging the rice around (regretted buying it) and we walked to meriken park after that. It was the Earthquake Memorial park and the sun was really hot that day so I think I got tanner. (yay!) We sat in the park for bout an hour (under the sun) and just zobo-ed and chatted until bout 3 and we headed towards the shopping areas. There was some huge sale and the Japs are crazy. They bought so many things even though most of it looked like crap (which was why there was a sale).

Ended up in Sweets Harbor (a whole basement of stores selling desserts). Had something wonderful each (their desserts are heaven!!) and we headed for the station to go Shinsaibashi. It was a mistake taking the JR train. We had to change trains 3 times and the journey took us almost 2 hours when we actually only need bout an hour. Was so tired I fell asleep on the train (and I Never Ever could sleep on public transport for fear of molestors and perverts and pickpockets haha).

Finally reached there bout 6.30 and I sorta showed Jaclyn around the more lively spots and brought her to her Tsutaya (a book/cd/video rental place cum second-hand shop) where she bought her second cds. Spent more than an hour there but I didn’t feel like spending any money so I just browsed around. We had dinner at Shakey’s where it was a buffet for just 892 yen. Yah! Very cheap! Worth it I suppose, since an ordinary meal is already about that price or more..

Went our separate ways after dinner at the station, it had been quite a fun day (^-^) decided to surprise Ryo and reached his house but I needed to use the loo so badly I had no choice but to call him to let me in . ….. very stupid. he was not amused, cos his parents were in, but after that things were ok.. had a nice time just watching tv together and just lying down staring at the ceiling with his head on my tummy while I read out a Japanese Magazine aloud. He asked me about my day (for a change!) and had a good time just chatting. I think we haven’t done that for a really long time. After that, I helped him with some editing (for his work) and we went to Tsutaya to rent some DVDs to watch. There was a halfprice promotion and it was really cheap.

Continued watching DVDs until 2am after we went back hehe..

Sunday:

So Sunday.. woke up at 12+ and I cooked Mee Siam for lunch. It was great.. I just love the Prima Packages. Watched another DVD of Tru Calling and then he did his work and I just sat there surfing the net for places to visit in Japan and we made holiday plans for the coming long weekend. 2 long weekends actually, 19th is the Day for the Elderly (wat a great holiday) and 23rd was the Autumn Equinox Day (another reason to stay/work in a country with 4 seasons).

After that watched Stepford Wives when he didn’t seem to make any move to get up.. it was quite interesting. I always had the impression that Stepford was a family name, not a place and that every women was a clone. Turns out they were just humans with nano-chips in their brains and Stepford was a place. The concept was interesting but the ending was a little weak.

Finally finished all the DVDs and we went to rent some more. MORE TRU CALLING! Heh.. up to DVD 5 now, I think there’s 13 altogether, hopefully can finish watching the whole series during this half price week. Weiyi actually offered to lend me the series (burnt) but I guess it’s more fun watching it on the TV with Ryo.

Had dinner at Volks, I had mee siam again at 4+ cos there was excess soup and wasn’t hungry enough to eat a steak so we order one steak and ate the salad/bread/soup bar buffet instead. Very filling and delicious it was too. We were seated beside the bars and we could see all the weird people taking their food. There was a very cute little girl who was so meticulous she took very very carefully almost all the things in the salad bar and then pour the salad dressing very very carefully in a spiral manner on her veges and then very very carefully added sesame seeds and crotons. I want her for myself!! She was just so adorable! But after that there was this man who piled up 2 bowls with everything in the salad bar and we were quite disgusted haha. The croissant was delicious though.. and I ate about 5.

Went back and watched another 2 DVDs again.

It was a good weekend.

Tru Calling:

This show is great!! Its bout a girl who works in a morgue and when dead bodies are brought in (usually murdered), will ask for her help to either right the wrong, save their lives or complete their wishes. The day would then begin again for the girl (Tru her name is) and she would be trying to find out what happened to the dead person while they are still alive and try to prevent their murder. The scene when they suddenly wake up and ask for help never fails to freak me out. EVERYTIME!! I’ll always scream and Ryo will always get the brunt of it. Before the part I know its coming but I just cant help but jump the dead person just suddenly turns his head around and says “Help me!” argh. But I’m hooked.

Holiday Plans:

連休: will be going to Yokohama to see the BIG Chinatown and maybe other nearby areas. We had wanted to go to see Mount Fuji etc but it was too far and he Had to fly back from Haneda airport due to him flying with corporate fee. We chose Yokohama cos he would be in Tokyo that weekend for the Tokyo Game Show but else we probably could have gone further.

Things are much improved this weekend, there wasn’t so much work on his mind and even though plans fell through for living together, I guess he’s trying hard and I should be too.

Thursday & Friday

Slept at 10.30 pm last night to wake up at 5.30 am today. For a meeting at 8am. All because US side always sends us documents last minute and had to go earlier to look at the materials. But anyway, it was a waste of time because the guy talked in circles most of the time and it was clear he couldn’t answer our questions. So a next meeting was scheduled and I’ll probably have to come at 7am again next week. Argh. Surprisingly, it wasn’t difficult to wake up that early, and the trains were so empty at 6+. The sun was already up at 5am, and I guess since I slept quite early, there was no difficulty in falling asleep as well. It felt good strolling to work and ｉ had so much time that I was actually waiting for Starbucks to open (at 7am).

Yesterday was a sucky day with a sucky Wednesday night. All because of some stupid pretense that he refuses to abandon. Haiz. Why am I still giving in to all those dumb conditions? It hurts, what he said hurts. Am I not good enough? I gave in to everything he wanted me to do, relationship-wise (not talking about sexual stuff you dirty-minded reader), and it’s still not enough. Does he not understand the situation? Maybe it’s all just a fling for him, it’ll end when I have to come home.

If he wants me to care less, fine. I’m a cold-hearted person once you hurt me/piss me off and I’ll probably never warm up to you again. If he wants to be cold too, I guess it suits us both.

Soaked myself in the hot bath last night after I had my maggi mee dinner. Was just focusing to keep my mind blank, devoid of thoughts in case I fell into depression again. So I sat there until the water turned cold, with my head against one end and listening to music from my PC and closed my eyes wondering if it was possible to fall asleep and drown myself.

I don’t have the courage(?) to hurt myself by cutting, drowning, etc.. so if there ever comes a day when I choose to end my life, I think I’ll definitely just take tablets. The yellow little one for colds is very effective. Just one of those and I get so drowsy within 5 min. If I take 10, probably, I’ll never wake up hehe. And the best thing is that it doesn’t hurt and you stay beautiful when they find you dead. Unlike slitting your wrists, its really inconsiderate cos someone has to clean up after the discovery of your death. Drowning will prolly bloat you up and your skin get all wrinkly from all that water. Carbon Monoxide will make yourself uncomfortable cause I think you probably can feel your lungs etc pain I think when your blood gets poisoned. So in conclusion, pills are the best.

Morbid post huh? Please don’t try the methods I mentioned since they’re only theoretical. And I do not encourage anyone to commit suicide. (This doesn’t apply to me)

Finally September (month of my birthday). I hope even though I am overseas there will be birthday greetings (maybe presents?) * hint hint *

Going to bring Jac to Kobe tomorrow to show her Chinatown and maybe to Shinsaibashi to show her the “happening” part of Osaka. Not very happening actually but I guess its better than nothing.