had the worst nitemare. dreamt of 2 boys who were playing ard the lake and were jumping into the water when they crashed into each other and hit their heads and died. i was lounging in the lake in the dream and was horrified by it. my sister who was beside me was crying. i had to pull her to shore using a nemo (?!) float and i dunno wat happened, but she got beheaded. try as i may i couldn't remember by wat. it was probably too shocking so my memory blanked it out. only remembered the scene of dragging her body without the head up to the house vividly and my parents refusing to believe it. :( the time after that was even worse, it started to rain so heavily the house began to resemble a fish tank. the water levels rose steadily such that it was higher than the windows and since we did not find my sister's head, i kept dreading it floating up to my window. even though it was just a dream, i would totalli get a heart attack. woke up feeling emotionalli drained. if my sister realli died in real life, i dunno how i would go on with life. totalli can't imagine life without them. in the dream i already felt realli lost and the loss of willpower to get on with life, if it was for real i could possibly just lie in bed crying for weeks. :( wat a horrible horrible nitemare.

horribly tiring day. feeling even more sianz now. went to the ritz carlton walk-in interview to realise that the positions were filled up. waste of my time and transport fares. then went to carlton to realise the pay was extremely low. i was sure to get the job but i had to promise to stay for at least half a year. which i couldn't. who could if the pay was oni $1K? :( at least i got an interview for some HR executive job for next week. haiz haiz. so sick of having no money and nothing to do. mom keeps pressuring me by asking me everyday and sounding realli disappointed when i have no positive news. DUH. ITs oni been 2 months!!!! :( feet hurting..

today was an absolutely boring day. RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN. haiz. and found out more bad things. sianz. i can't be bothered liao.

hit the penguin!! i managed to hit it as far as 321m!

feeling veri hurt and betrayed. i shall nv go down to NTU again. i could see u pple wasn't veri happy about me coming liao. i was bored and lonely at home. i didn't come to disturb, just for the company. i'm sorri. and i saw u guys as my closest frens. guess i was wrong. its so much worse to be hearing this from one person. omg. omg. omg. this realli is the worst way to end a day. to discover all the people u trusted were hypocrites.

wanted to blog bout Last Samurai. watched it and it was the highlight of the day until the bad incident ruined it. it was touching. veri touching. i just borrowed a whole load of books on japan's history to find out what spurred the war. tom cruise character was veri veri well portrayed. the warrior who nv says die. if only i could be just like him. although things are certainly training me up. respect was always earned, and every single thing was done for honour, to honour the shogun, personal honour, honour of the samurai code. the movie was pretty brutal though, with body parts flying around in battle, and blood spurting out in all directions. the movie reminded me alot of LOTR, cos of the arrows i suppose, and the war scene. at least they honoured the code to the last and died with honour. :S

can't believe how suay i am!

the interview did not go well today.. basicalli, i had nothing to say, they had nothing to ask me, period. the torture was swift. it was over in 5 min. wat a waste of my time.

haiz. aniway, went home and by some miraculous super suayness, manage to step on a tiny piece of glass in my own room. yes, when i haven broken anithing in my own room b4. !!! did not realise it until i felt that my sole was stinging and look down to see i had left trails of blood droplets where i stepped b4. sat down and lifted up my foot to see the piece sticking out. :S blood was oozing out. it was not a pretty sight. gritted my teeth and pulled it out and blood flowed even faster. but luckily it stopped within a few minutes.. it still hurts now, even though its not bleeding animore. OUCH.

got a job to paint murals on the walls of buttcheeks (a bikini shop in heeren). is $200 veri little? considering its my first design and painting job and all, it doesn't seem high but i have to start some where i suppose.. now have to think up some cutesy design to suit the shop..

getting kinda freaked out.. i've been waking at at bout 8am every day for the past week.. not by choice, but cos of something weird..

at bout 4-5am every morning, i hear the sounds of someone taking a shower. in my house's bathroom of course, which is outside my room. the sounds are realli loud and clear.. the water running, the door locking, the creak of the door being shut.. it can't be a dream since i've been hearing it everyday for a whole week at least already.. the noise wakes me from my dreams, yes, i distinctly remember opening my eyes, looking and the dark sky and thinking " not again!!!" and wondering why the idiot doesn't just bathe b4 she sleeps instead of making so much noise in the morning. i tot it was my sister at first, cos she always does that, bathe b4 sch instead of the day b4.. and when i finalli asked her about it 4 days ago, since that was the day when there were oni 2 of us at home, she said that day she didn't wake up until 8 plus and she nv wakes up soooo earli to bathe aniway.. asked my mom and she said i was crazy, she doesn't bathe in the morning as well. now i'm feeling a little unsure.. am i crazy? i always decide to get up and investigate the noise the next time i hear it, but either i'm too sleepy to care or i'm too scared to do anithing when the next day comes.. wat if i actualli see something i dun wanna see?? :( i doze off after the noise but wakes up again when my sister wakes up to go to work.. at 6 plus.. then doze off and wakes up at 7 plus and i can't sleep animore..

argh... am i going out of my mind?

went to the temple this morning.. it was a nice place... veri peaceful..

after that went to andy's place.. his parents and relatives were realli nice.. grandparents and aunts gave me ang pao, one even left an angbao there for me days ago :) quite happy.. then watched dvd "what a girl wants" .. the show was pretty funny.. glad i didn't watch it in the cinema though..

went to zhiwen's house to have new year dinner with the guys.. they were playing WE11 on PS2 and it was kind of a bummer since there was nothing to do... finalli went for dinner at 6+... i was starving by then.. didn't have anithing for the whole day liao.. yonghui jus nice came back to zhiwen's house and he came along too.. ate zi cha at the coffee shop and i treated the guys to drinks so spent bout $10 in all.. still affordable :) later on played abit of mahjong and PS2 and we celebrated yonghui's bday.. he's quite a funny guy.. full of cold jokes.. veri much of a gentleman too, gave me the first piece of bday cake :) haha.. but then i was the only girl there.. as usual.. it was supposed to be a class dinner but the rest dunno disappeared where..

damn it, i scalded my hand with soup.. !! hurts.. :(

aniway.. click here to play.. its a crush calculator game.. pretty accurate i must say :P

http://www.crushcalculator.com/cc.cgi?id=1074979370rgs

went to NTU to attend the biz finance lecture with the guys.. quite a cool lesson.. i didn't fall asleep!! :) the lecturer knew wat he was toking about and it made finance alot clearer. after that went jp for lunch and we ate at mos while looking at this realli cute guy.. i mean i looked, not the guys looked.. :) i'm still not toking to some one though. then met boi boi to shop ard.. so long nv see him liao.. he still looks as cuckoo as ever.. :P

steamboat dinner tonite.. yay!

went to my aunt's house today and i didn't even noe she moved house liao.. it was weird not being able to run from her house to my other aunt's house in the opposite blk animore..but at least she doesn't have to clean up a big house by herself animore.. her new year goodies were still the best.. stuffed my face full at her place.. :)

then had dinner at my 2nd aunt's place... she cooked the best dinners with all my fav food.. hainanese steamed chicken, mushrooms with fa cai, lotus soup that was realli realli gd.. and lup chiong (the preserved sausage thing) :) felt sooo bloated after my dinner and i seldom can say this, but i was truly full after dinner haha..

then just sat down and watched tv while the adults toked.. quite a gd relaxing day :)

today was pretty cool.. finalli we skipped our old neighbour's yearly early morning visit and went straight to my grandma's house for lunch instead.. which allowed us to see much more realatives than usual ( = more ang baoz!!) hehe.. didn't noe qin kang (my uncle who's a few years older than me) had a kid liao. and he was soo cute!! esp when he smiled.. :) babies are such cute things when they're not yours..

sat ard until i realised that some of the guys were in the east side visiting relatives as well.. so we decided to go for a movie and went to watch magic kitchen .. wasn't a fan of jerry yan b4 but now i think he's quite cute.. no wonder all the girls are crazy over him.. he's realli well built and cute in the show .. but kinda irritating that just cos he endorses pepsi.. almost anithing he does involves pepsi.. Grrr.... and andy lau wasn't realli the star :( but the whole show had an infernal affair feel to it.. quite weird.. will try to read the book instead.. :)

went for dinner at grandma's house.. wanted to go china town in the afternoon but decided it was too hot and crowded so went bugis to pray in the temple instead.. quite cool that bugis junction was pretty empty.. seldom that u dun have to squeeze through tons of pple.. had a gd time playing PS in the Sony shop as well.. :) also one of the rare times i went bugis junction without eating at simply thai.. craving for some tom yam noodles now.. wonder if they're open tomolo.. :)

xin nian kuai le everyone!! Have a prosperous and smooth year ahead!

went for the interview at the police hq today.. it was more like a chat session.. but i oni impressed them at the part where i said technological crimes were the challenge they faced.. at least i learnt bout that in 1105 .. haha.. the rest of the time i seemed to be blabbering.. :( and my interview was the shortest time taken!! :( i took oni bout 20 min.. the rest sat in there for bout 40 min each.. arghh... hope it went well.... i realli want the job..

met the guys in NTU for dinner. quite fun.. as usual, tok cok session... :) always the highlight of my day to see them..

today was a gd day :) did nothing the whole day except watch vcds. and i cooked dinner for the family :)

went to d/l all the versions of La Vie en Rose (a song meaning "the life of a rose") after watching Love me If u Dare, realised the one they used in the show was sang by Louis Armstrong. its realli classic.. veri soothing.. another recommendation is Burt Bacharach - I'll Never Fall In Love.. this song is pretty cheeky.. sounds like those classic old songs but is actualli part of the sound track of austin powers 2.. hmm.. was looking thru my mtv collection and saw a spoof made by the Kollaboration team.. they're the Korean-americans in US who has this talent competition every year and its realli realli wow.. aniway back to the MTV. was looking at the veri funny spoof so decided to d/l the real MTV (Usher - I Need A Girl (part 1)) and it made the spoof even more funny.. :) u'll have to see both to understand..

realised i'm pretty into R&B, especialli the ones by Usher and other black artistes.. Shanghai Sally was playing r&B the whole nite last nite.. but u can't realli dance to R&B unless u have some one realli close to u.. i can't dance with strangers.. but Angeline forced me down to the dance floor after oni one drink so i had no choice but to bop along with her.. the music was gd, but i just am too self-conscious.. and i dunno how to dance aniway.. been listening to the Media Player's tuner system and found a japanese station (i-Radio) introducing dance music which is actualli black R&B.. got myself a few new songs in my collection thanks to them :) "Don't mess with my man" by Nivea is pretty good and "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce is not bad too.. veri upbeat ;)

went to SOS (formerly Madam Wong's 2 (formerly SOS)) cos shilun was canvassing for his union camp... it was soooo BORING.. turnout low.. bad music.. no $$ for drinks.. :S in the end danced a little, watched soccer and the ongoing pool game until i was freezing cold and then we left to take a walk.. decided it was too sian to go back in, we went home.. at 12.30am.. :( man... i must realli be getting old..

feeling realli bummed now.. didn't get to the 2nd round :( there was a less than 5 min interview. where we were asked to intro ourselves. then i dunno how they actualli selected pple based on THAT. sucky. feeling super off. haiz......... no mood to do anithing now, only wanna go and sleep..

went to NTU to register for the bike rally.. $30 . :( cos i dun have a bike.. then relaxed the whole afternoon.. went out for dinner and ate alot.. first at the pasta cafe then at the thanying express.. been feeling super hungry this week... weird weird weird.. maybe the worm in my tummy is getting bigger.. so excited bout the interview tomolo.. shall go sleep early..

went shopping for some essentials with my sis today.. bought a realli realli nice white dress for new year.. :) i was abit unused to seeing myself in dresses that are semi-long.. but xinhuan and my sis told me it looked gd so bought it lor :) after that came home and jogged another 2 rounds.. starting to remember why i dun jog.. cos after the first enthusiastic time.. the next few times u get tired more and more easily.. :S

going to join NTU bike rally with the guys.. seems like a lot of fun, whole day cycling thruout singapore.. abit ex though.. banking on my DBS pay to pay for it..

is Mona Lisa Smile a gd show? want to watch it but the reviews in the newspapers aren't that great.. dun believe that julia roberts would act a mediocre film though.. :S

did nothing the whole day.. napped after lunch for bout 3 hours.. and woke up feeling even more tired than b4.. its the kind of restless sleep that u dunno whether u're realli sleeping or just closing ur eyes.. :( now veri sleepy...

went to raffles place to collect a txtbook i bought off an online seller.. had nothing to do after that so i sat at the plaza outside uob building to read and enjoy the breeze and the scenery.. the evening scene is very slow-paced, very relaxed.. quite enjoyed sitting there reading my book..

met boi boi in evening for his dinner, at 10pm.. :S i ate dinner at home luckily, else i would have starved to death. it started raining on my way back and i was drenched.. now sneezing like mad :( am i so weak?

went to NTU to find the guys today.. had a gd time playing NFS underground during their lecture :) after that we went for lunch at hall 9 canteen.. so nice they actualli had JAP food!!! our hall food sux... and it was nicer than the arts canteen jap food too.. !

after that went to cut my hair at SuperCuts.. nv been there b4 so went to try.. damn it.. all the salons charging for new year liao.. it was damn ex.. $29..!! nv spend so much on cutting hair b4.. but quite pleased with the results aniway.. :) i dunno why, but i always feel pretty euphoric after a hair cut.. maybe its something in the air.. :P

watched paycheck and it turned out to be quite a gd show.. the plot was a little futuristic but the unfolding of it was pretty cool. luckily there wasn't as much of uma thurman as i expected, so it was pretty enjoyable :) dun realli like her after watching kill bill.. the theme about predicting the future being the root of all destruction is quite true.. we always want to noe the future and take steps to prevent wat we dun like. but wat if that is another way we die as well? hmm.. a little mind-boggling..

die.. i'm still rushing the essay for the MOE job..

woot! can't believe i'm so healthy today.. went for a jog in the MINDEF track in the evening with my sis.. considering i haven jogged/exercised for nearli 3 years, i'm in pretty gd shape.. ran 2.4km and walked 800m without feeling super breathless or anithing :) quite proud of myself.. shall do this all week.. think i need to go suntan tomolo..

just read a good book.. if u've enjoyed The Davinci Code by Dan Brown, u'll enjoy Angels & Demons by the same author.. its again some what anti-church.. but once again with the logic to back it. This one's set in Rome and has even more twists and turns as well as being even more mind-boggling.. full of suspense and the moment i started i couldn't put it down untili finish... please please read it!! :)

the psychometric test today was gd... quite easy.. and found out more bout the job as well.. there were several posts.. the one i'm most interested in was the analyst job in the police intelligence dept.. it was crime research, tracking crime trends etc.. the background work of the detective basically.. pretty cool, reminded me of all the detective stories i read.. :)

then went for dinner at fisherman's village in pasir ris.. it was such a romantic place.. rite by the sea, with a live band and gd food and cool breeze.. totalli relaxing.. :) feel quite happy now haha..

had buffet lunch with jurong gang.. it was oni $10+ quite worth it.. then they went KTV on some free voucher bc had.. not bad.. sang alot of songs but i must say my voice sux.. :( haiz... having psychometric test at police headquarters tomolo so will sleep earli..

ooh. found a wonderful tool..

please to all my readers.. i'm currently looking for a job and my parents haven given me ani money for 2 months liao.. i'm down to my last $50 ... please donate wat u can.. i'll greatly appreciate it... :S

hmm, am so bored today i checked out my horoscope after reading decazz's blog..

this is me:
Libra represents the Air element. It is a sign that is more extroverted and active. For Venus-inspired Libra, beauty, balance and harmony are important. There is a great need to share, to be fair and impartial. Even with this need for calm, Libra remains a very active, outwardly radiating personality. Libra is the cheerleader we all need to work together and build a team! With all of these positives here, how can the sign of The Scales be unbalanced? Sometimes loving Libra can need others too much and fall into the trap of dependency. The need for partnership leads this sign to falsely believe that there is no personhood with a partner. The temptation is to give away too much to others and reserve too little for oneself. Then life reels out of control. Trying to be too fair undermines decision-making abilities. Libra may fear making the wrong choice or upsetting others. Inward-focused energy restores balance. Libras thrive when they give themselves permission to take care of themselves.

How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others
High-spirited, enthusiastic, and exuberant, you love adventure, change, exploring new territory, and are not happy confined to the same safe, familiar, secure little world all the time. You have a strong restlessness and yearning for something greater than anything you've yet experienced, and you often live in your dreams and visions for the future. You tend to believe that the grass is greener somewhere else and you like to keep moving, either literally or figuratively. Idealistic and optimistic, you always expect something better ahead. You love to have a goal, something to aim for, but once you achieve it you are on to something else. You are ever on the lookout for new opportunities and you are a gambler, willing to take risks and to break new ground. The possibility of discovering something new is what makes life interesting for you. You have great faith in life and bounce back quickly from disappointment and failure.

compatibility-wise:
Compatible Gemini, Leo, Aquarius, Sagittarius
Complex Feelings Aries, Libra
Strange Attractors Cancer, Capricorn
Incompatible Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Pisces

the profile part is pretty true.. not veri in control of my own life in relationships.. and i am pretty restless.. oh well.. those compatible.. u noe wat to do liao.. :P

went to chalet last nite.. just reached home.. zzz

was guan's bday.. it was quite fun.. had a bbq and a gd time chasing cats.. there was this realli eerie cat that mewed in a weird voice.. sounded like it was toking.. it was creepy when it spoke to the other cats in that tone.. :S played some silly water forfeit game and it got us going to the toilet all nite.. barely had 2 hours of sleep since i was sleeping near the loo.. could hear the pple's water flowing out (YUCH) ..

i received a email for an interview with SIA!! so happy :) will endeavour to pass their selection rounds and become a Singapore girl.. :)

went to watch the movie Jeux d'enfants (Love me if u dare).. it was pretty gd.. just that the ending was weird. saw alot of familiar faces in the theater.. soc frens, hall frens and darryl davids haha.. the values of the show is sort of warped.. nothing sexual or anithing to make it NC-16... prolly the idea and the plot of the show made it so.. the title is not a direct translation though.. "jeux d'enfants" just means "sets of children" .. "love me if u dare" should have been translated from "aimez-moi si vous osez"..

went to NUS this morning to collect photocopied books.. felt a little out of place.. met a few frens and when they asked me wat mods i was taking.. felt a bit embarrassed to tell them that i graduated.. i dunno why i was embarrassed... but i just felt that way.. and they all made such a big deal out of it and it made me even more paiseh :S.. first thing pple would ask is whether i found a job.. obviously not else why would i be in NUS at this time of the day.. argh..

went to marche today.. haven been there for a long time.. had a pork chop, sambal stingray and rosti.. quite a gd meal.. :)

then went to see the NTU lion display.. the NUS team was great!!! the lion looked so alive!!! they totalli deserve the gold award.. hl and hawx were quite gd.. think they were too nervous though.. luckily they weren't hurt when they fell.. :S

went shopping with andy today.. i was flat broke and he had to pay for everything.. which was realli nice of him.. g2000 was having a sale and he needed some work shirts so we went to take a look.. unfortunately, ZARA was having a sale as well ... :P and ended up that he bought me a shirt and a skirt since i had no money and needed some clothes for interviews and stuff.. my first set of proper work clothes.. haha.. maybe finalli the interviews will come in? hehe.. then after that at heeren saw the blue halter that looked realli sweet, erm.. in the end he bought me that too.. :) some new clothes for the new year :)

had veri veri bad diarrhoea this morning.. the sharp pain in my tummy woke me up from my sleep at 5 am and i went to the toilet in agony.. felt like puking but didn't.. in the end went to the toilet a couple more times btw 6-7am and then fell asleep exhaustedly until 12pm.. i woke up then cos my tummy was hurting realli badly again.. think i kena-ed food poisoning somehow.. :(

Happy New Year!

had quite a gd countdown yesterday.. not with the crowds in town or sentosa, but just a small gathering.. had steamboat dinner with boi boi and his frens and it was quite fun.. played asshole dai-dee and mahjong the whole nite, all the vices besides prostituting.. haha.. overall had a great time.. :) Happy New Year everyone!!

boi boi gave me my belated xmas present yesterday too.. it was the netted outdoor waist pouch i been eyeing for veri long!! :) so sweet of him.. thanks boi boi dear.. and he got me a Nemo during his KL trip too.. bolster sized.. i think soft toys are pretty cheap in malaysia so THANKS boi boi!!! :) feeling veri happy overall.. the year started pretty well..