[2054] Just Checking In...

 It's November. We have been in Singapore for 7 months plus. 2020 is almost over. Covid is still ongoing. Life is back to almost normal if not for the safe distancing measures and the travel bans and the horrible rules of wearing masks in the hot hot hot weather. 

I miss my own house. 

In September, I just felt so overwhelmed with everything. The accumulated stress of being the only parent to do everything for the kids, plus having to manage parental relations with my own parents. I get to go out on weekends for dinner alone, thanks to my parents, but EVERYTHING on weekdays is no joke. Feed them, fetching them to all sorts of classes, from school, supervise school work, remembering to buy stuff they outgrow or need for school, while making sure I am still able to finish my own things. It's horrible on very sunny days especially, the school walk to fetch bb. Perhaps there are people who think "Oh suck it up, you chose this", yes I did, but I am also human and sometimes need a listening ear. Most friends are sympathetic, are generally understanding, especially if sometimes I tell them I can't go out unless it's weekends, because I really prefer giving them 100% of my attention when we meet and not be in mom mode. Also, it's just alot easier to slowly eat and chat and even drink with no kids around. By the end of Sept, I really felt like shit, birthday blues and all, still general lack of sleep and feeling quite lonely, and actually broke down while talking to the hb on facetime. At that point, we were still trying to figure out if we can go Japan at all end of the year, and I just felt so helpless seeing all the rules against foreigners re-entering Japan and having to basically sort out and find out everything myself. 

Decided to try to stop feeling blue and step by step try to get moving towards the trip. 

So October came, I was reading and reading all the relevant information on the Japan embassy website, and also everything we need to do on the Singapore end. They insisted I needed a pre-departure covid test, so that itself was quite a tedious process, having to apply for approval from MOH with reasons and the air ticket as proof.  I spent a few weeks, in email with the embassy / ICA to confirm the requirements and the costs of SHN and tests, (very troublesome, had to go to the Japan embassy twice, and submit some approval for the pre departure covid test) and finally got everything done before end of October. But, on October 30, Japan decided to do away with all these rules for re-entry because Singapore is now a low risk country and I didn't need to have done anything at all. It was great news, not needing the covid tests on both ends just to get into Japan, but felt like all my work went to waste. oh well.. 

There was a lot of tension at home, parents fighting, parents nagging, parents trying to control how you discipline your kids, parents not happy about us missing school when we come back from the trip for SHN. It was pretty stressful, not to be seen as siding any parent for fear that the other parent would blow up again. 

There was an end of term test for French and I was quite nervous about it at first, but it turned out ok. I hadn't known it actually included class participation, so I guess there is room for improvement for the scores in that section. Overall, an ok result, will skip one term for the trip and I am now on to Intermediate 5 in Jan! 

By some sort of blind luck, I met up with a friend whose assistant is leaving end of November (contract ended). I jokingly said to hire me, and she really went through with it, so I have a new job which starts end of November! and paying above expectations which is really a bonus. It might not seem like a big deal, but finding a job in SG means I actually have to be in SG / plan to be in SG for the time being. I think the hb realises that because he kept asking "are you sure? how about when you go to Japan for the holidays?" while trying not to pour cold water or sound unsupportive. I guess there are minimal trips to be taken in the next year at least, work from home helps and we are going to be in SG after all, for school, might as well make the best of it and keep my resume active.

Also, sb was sick with fever & diarrhoea one of the recent weeks and I had to get up in the middle of the night a few times for a few nights consecutively to help her clean up and soothe her. While in the day, I still had to fetch bb from school and also help her revise for the school assessment tests, all while I barely slept. (One of the EVERYTHING that I had to do as a solo parent so kudos to all the mums doing all these alone) Although no actual exams, they are changing classes next year and going to be streamed to different classes based on their subject abilities. But she seems to have breezed through the tests generally (yes even Chinese!) thanks to constant revision/ assessment books so it was quite a relief to have reached this second last week of school. 

No 11-11 shopping for us, because I couldn't think of anything I really need to buy currently.  & our bank broke from the air tickets for Japan, and the upcoming SHN. 

Looking forward to being able to go home again in a week or so and see you all in 2021!