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Sunday, September 28, 2014

二千十六:32

Oops.. forgot to do the post more so that I can read more in future.

First - the yearly birthday post.

Ryo made a big effort this year. I think it's sort of because I asked him (hinted?) a few weeks before the birthday if we could ask his parents to watch bb and kinda reminded him of my birthday. Then I saw the Cirque du Soleil advertisement and thought that since I haven't watched it before, why not? & asked Ryo if he was interested to watch and checked for seats on my birthday. Apparently tickets had been on sale since forever and there were not alot of seats left. Anyway, we took whatever best we could, and Ryo made secret arrangements for the lunch before the show. I wasn't feeling very upbeat about this birthday, to be honest, it was the first time I actually felt the pinch of getting old. Or just felt very jaded, tired, exhausted, blah blah etc. Because of bb? maybe. but it's just a combination of factors. I felt very underachieved, very unmotivated, very much felt like I'm wasting my life. I almost forgot that it was my birthday the next day until I got messages here and there from friends.

We went to Restaurant Varier (which accidentally happened to be just a short walk to the circus, because Ryo didn't know where the circus event was actually) and it turned out to be an almost 10 course lunch of french food. A very very very yummy lunch, it turns out, and bb was in the care of her grandparents, so we slowly ate, I could actually taste my food properly for a change. Alot of sweets and desserts towards the end & I got surprised by the candle on my cake. I'm not happy about my age but I did enjoy all the food. & I can always pretend to be 31 forever.

The Cirque du Soleil performance was amazing. It was alot of comedy and acrobatics mixed together, but no one seemed to really understand the miming or the acting of the performers. I was the only one laughing for most of it.

We went to Yodobashi to let me get my iphone 6 cover then we went back. Ryo went to pick the bb up from his parent's place, and I went home to try to make some dinner as we had to clean up the fridge of fresh food before the Hawaii trip. I had asked Ryo to call his parents ahead of time to tell them we didn't eat dinner, but as usual he ignored me and didn't call and they cooked alot of stuff but I was already cooking dinner also. super guilty.

Very mixed feelings.

I hope my thoughts clear up soon.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

二千十五:Looong weekend

It was a fantastic weekend!

I took leave on Friday because bb had her school excursion, so we went to Kawasaki World (all at Meriken Park so it was a convenient walk from home there in the morning.) I can only say it's not a great place for toddlers, not sure if they understood anything, more stressful for the mums to have to watch them in a public place. Since we are kinda preoccupied with watching our own kids, it was not really a good chance to interact with other mums. By lunch, almost all the mums and toddlers were exhausted, most were starting to throw tantrums, or wanted to nap. So we ascended Port Tower and bb suddenly began her tantrum. Whining, lying on the ground.. sheesh. With her teacher around I couldn't be more fierce, and was super exasperated.

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bb trying to sing?
After it ended, I had high tea with some Kobe mummies at the Kobe Oriental Meriken park hotel. Bb didn't nap as hoped, unfortunately, but at least she had fun with the other babies running around. (the high tea venue gave us some good seats with a space for the kids to run w/o disturbing other folks.) And finally, when we left the hotel, she fell asleep on the way home.

On Saturday, Ryo had to work, so I brought bb to the bear cafe and we had tea time together. She was kinda hungry I think, so she quietly ate bread while I read my book and ate my pastries. It was quite a good lazy afternoon. Ryo joined us after work for dinner and we went for some Korean food. BB had not napped so she was hyperactive during dinner and refused to sit and eat quietly so it was a very rushed dinner.

Sunday - we woke up late, and I was kinda thinking if we should go to Universal Studios. Since we had nothing planned, we decided to just head there. Even though it was 3+ pm when we reached, there was a Halloween event going on, and the park was opened till 10pm! BB enjoyed all the elmo items and toys all over the place, it was great fun for her, but of course the rides queues were crazy and she was still too young to enjoy most of the rides as well. The adults of course can't take any rides with a bb around, so we just enjoyed ourselves walking around the park and watching the performances. The zombies were quite cool, they were dancers in disguise, so everything the park blasted Thriller, they got into formation and danced on the streets.
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Sesame street performance
Yesterday, there was the SMAP concert. The last concert I went to was in 2005?? 10 years ago as well, but this is the first concert I successfully balloted via the official fan club ballot. It was quite fair I suppose, 9000yen (about S$130?) for each ticket and the system assigned seats. I was lucky to get the Arena seats - which was next next to the side stage, and just under their cranes, so my idol came so close overhead so many times!! It was fantastic, 4 hours long, and the Radwimps concert was a really quiet affair comparatively. The only thing was that the crowd was alot of obachans... and alot of grouchy obachans to say the least. bad experience with one of them, I would have pushed her down if she weren't so fat and anal. But that aside, I will definitely want to go again. IT WAS SUPER SUPER SUPER!

Last weekend, we went to a campsite at Awajishima for a stay at the log house with PS & Yusuke. We had bbq, fireworks, onsen, all in all a pretty good time, probably can make this an annual thing if possible!
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bb playing with sparklers

Sunday, August 31, 2014

二千十四:Thoughts

August = Summer = Fireworks

I was reading back on the older posts from 2008 and I realised that it's because I made an effort to post updates that I have stuff to read now. Although I must admit life was not as boring or as routine as now, now that I'm just at home mostly. And reading back on the annual birthday posts was quite interesting, to remember how friends celebrated my birthdays for me. Renewed appreciation for them in sg, and got me missing them all over again. 
August was like a week of breather after one project ended and then it was right on to the next project. Which kinda sucked, but I can't really complained because Andreu was long due on his vacation time and he did cover me alot alot alot for the past year so I had to hang on without him. & I really felt his absence very keenly - and Karthik too - when I had no one to cover me to do night calls or any other calls in case bb kicked up a ruckus during the calls. Thank goodness there were no major incidents, just small cute noises which the other managers laughed away. Also, I didn't realise Andreu was almost the only person chatting with me about random stuff daily. With him on vacation, I was practically talking to zero humans a day (online and offline, not counting the bb). how sad..... 
The older you get, the more complicated your life gets (maybe) , the more secrets you have, the less thoughts you share with people and the more you wallow in your own sadness and loneliness. 
There are so many things to worry about now that bb is growing older. School is one of them. Public kindergartens are cheap but lacks bilingual education. her semi-international pre-school / kindergarten has entry interviews for kindergarten level and cost like 1.5 million yen per year after everything is added up. I keep thinking I should send her back to sg for her education since bilingual is the norm instead there and CHEAP.  I mean, I don't think my university education even cost as much as her kindergarten.. So I've to check my finances, either mmm or cb in the words of Becky in Shopaholic.. (make more money / cut back) and hopefully my MMM plans get me some results. (trying to CB abit as well, but I think I'm already doing the max in terms of daily savings unless I totally cut out travel and lose my sanity)
I'm trying to get my driver's license converted as well, now that I've found the carshare program downstairs to be really useful for errands, but the process is so tedious that I'm already half disheartened by it. I hope I can get it by the end of this year at least. 
It's very weird how life (fate?) brings you in circles and take you somewhere you've been again and again. Every time I lose sight of a friend (J), another old friend (C) turns up out of the blue and contacts me. It's happened the same way 3-4 times, and I always wonder how does C know when to talk to me? We don't talk the rest of the time, only when he suddenly comes back into my life at the right time, and talk to me. After that we either talk more or run out of conversation. Actually it's my fault when the conversation runs out, because I'm not sure where the friendship is heading. But this time, J seems out of my life for good, so maybe I should try to be better friend to C. 

My year of being 31 is almost up... I hope being 32 will be the turning point for relationships, friendships and family, careers, wealth and myself. 

Thursday, July 31, 2014

二千十三:Two years

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bb turns 2!

The bulk of July I can remember is work.

Mum left on July 4th. It was kinda awkward, because we quarrelled so much the last few days.

Intensive reading in July, because I discovered the library books reservation system. And also, I was bored. Why would I have time to be bored you say... I have no idea. but I was mentally bored. very bored of having no human contact, having no social life, no one to really chit chat with and discuss rubbish with. Or I just missed going to the office. or something.

Bb discovered cicadas and I re-discovered online shopping. I think I bought a lot of clothes. Retail therapy and all sorts of reasons, but the short term high was so short I forgot about the clothes almost as soon as I paid for them. Which was good as a pleasant surprise when the clothes came in the mail.

Or maybe it wasn't work. July was quite a blank.

Just remembered Bb turned 2 in July. Hooray for me, and for her. I don't know if I want a second child. Seeing her play alone sometimes makes me feel guilty. But I don't know if I want to go back to square one of not being able to cope at work, losing all the freedom that's slowly coming back just to give her a sibling. and the finances. It's not that we'll be poor. but how will I work if I have to take care of 2 kids at the same time? They can probably entertain each other, but still.... I should stop thinking about this.

Bb knows her alphabets now, (most of them) she can pronounce most of them. Of course she can't form words yet, but it's a start. She seems to be catching on to Japanese numbers faster, maybe cos Ryo makes the effort to read poker cards to her.

I'm really a very lousy mum.. But what do you expect, after spending 24 hours with her daily, end of the day i just want to veg out and do my own things on my phone or read rather than do stuff with her.

Monday, June 30, 2014

二千十二:Mum in Japan

DSC_3369blog at Sumida aquarium, Tokyo Skytree

Mum came to stay for about a month and we had pretty good homecooked food, and lovely fatty rice dumplings (there's still about 4 more frozen in my fridge for rainy days) and a clean house, at least until mum fell sick with flu.

We took a short trip to Tokyo, but the weather was bad, everyone was feeling under the weather, it wasn't a very good trip.

The whole month was full of bad feelings, partly because BB was rejecting mum the whole month. Mum kept on saying "she wasn't like this in Singapore!" but I mean.. this is home ground, BB is quite a possessive and territorial creature. She shouted NO at everything mum did or handled, which I guess was quite tiring and made mum feel quite sad. Also, it meant that mum couldn't help much in looking after BB, and we all were quite angry with BB.

However, towards the end of the month, BB mellowed quite a bit, allowed mum to babysit her while we went to the Radwimps concert, and that's kind of all the couple time we had.

I guess some relationships are better kept distanced. I enjoy having my mum around, cos she's like a cleaning machine, and cooks, but we are all kinda subjected to her mood swings which is a super tiring affair. She criticises everything as well,  and doesn't really think about other people's feelings before commenting. Unless I can get out daily to recharge, I think it's inevitable that staying with her leads to quarrels almost all the time. She wants everything to be done her way, but this is my house! I know I'm a control freak, so maybe it's me. Anyway, mum's gone back to sg, a facetime relationship is better for both of us.

July will be a busy work month.. and BB's turning 2! I haven't had the slightest idea what to do for her birthday though.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

二千十一:New York New York!

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Lego art exhibition at Discovery Times Square

We went to New York in May!

There was golden week earlier in the month, and we took a few days to just rest, and in the middle of the month, I visited XQ in NY with bb & my sis!

It was a very trying trip, due to bb becoming a terrible two soon, she was throwing tantrums all over the place, as well as the lack of babyfriendly elevators in the subways, high kerbs on the streets etc etc. But despite all the cons, I think we had fun, and we managed to cover at least 90% of our itinerary!

We went to a lego art exhibition, watched 2 Yankees games on the same day (due to some streak of luck because Friday's game was postponed to Sunday), saw Ichiro, went to most of the museums (loved MOMA), ate at a michelin 1star for lunch, ate a not so great hotdog, walked up and down upper east side, went to central park, met countless dogs, saw their sunday markets, walked across Brooklyn Bridge, saw the Statue of liberty from a distance, ate lots of burgers and steaks, took our touristy shots at Times Square, shopped at the outlet malls, survived the subway, talked to strangers, (or strangers talked to us).

There wasn't enough days to see everything in NY of course, so I guess we'll be back in future! When bb is older and doesn't need a pram anymore, we can do a proper girl's trip with all my sisters and bb! (although by then she wouldn't be bb anymore haha)


Friday, April 18, 2014

二千十:Updates Big & Small

I must apologise for the lack of updates. I do realise the more I put off updating the blog, the harder it is to recall what I wanted to blog about.

Let me just recap the events of this month first -
1. 13-April - Half marathon at Ashiya
The last race I did was the marathon in Tokyo and you would think a half marathon should be peanuts. It wasn't really, because the shorter the race, the faster you run. Ran a very fast 10km, quite surprised since I didn't train much really. But the race consisted of 2 loops of the same area, so it got boring after finishing 10km, and considerably slowed down. At least I ranked 1044/1222 participants overall. (majority are males)

2. Worked very hard to complete all the bb 1 year old photobooks. Did one on rakuten with the DSLR pictures, and did one on blurb with instagram pictures as well. If you are interested to get a copy, here it is:

3. This is UAT week actually, but this week has been quite relaxing, in the sense that I managed to complete most of my testing in the first few days and so, am able to enjoy today by bringing bb to the indoor playground. I miss going to the office alot, I miss my parents taking care of the bb, I miss the feeling like I was really properly working and not just slacking off work to look after the baby..

4. Forgot the most major event (because it was so tiring) - bb started school. Or should I say  - playgroup school. I opted for 2 times a week, but I realised it was more tiring for me, have to wake up early and take her there and fetch her back after 4 hours, transport time is taking up so much time! But, must perservere. It has been 3 sessions so far, and she is getting more and more used to it. (She cried alot the first day, and on the 3rd session, only cried like 3 minutes and stopped when I left). Hope things improve and she starts having more fun!

5. Looking forward to the short holiday to the Capcom Villa end of the month. I keep feeling like we haven't done a proper family vacation for ages! Maybe it's my own fault, since I was enjoying myself in Singapore for the first 2 months of this year.

Monday, March 31, 2014

二千〇九:March

I was thinking why I kept this on draft mode for so long (for March) & I realised March was just work and work.

We rented a car and went to the flower center some 50km away. It was a mistake to rent an electric car, because we had to stop & charge it every 1-2 hours?! and the charging stations are far and few in the sort of rural areas (mainly at service areas or nissan dealers.. ) so we took like 4-5 hours to reach the place, it was still early tulips blooming mainly and took another few hours to drive back.

Bought air tickets to go to New York with bb, in an attempt to do a last free travel for her before she turns two years old. Will be watching a yankees baseball match! (that's the main aim)

We bought a baby jogging stroller as well, it's been quite good so far, given that we have decided we want to jog abit more.

Spent a large part of this month trying to get ready bb's school stuff. I didn't know going to school in jp required so many things, either handmade or bought, and the name labelling! on EVERYTHING (even every stick of crayon) I guess it's an issue of whether to spend money to buy or to make, since everything can be bought somehow but didn't really seem worth it given the price I can make the items at.

Friday, February 28, 2014

二千〇八:Tokyo Marathon 2014

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I completed the marathon!

After 6hr30min of torture, I completed the marathon! 
It actually felt great at first, the weather was freezing cold while we waiting at the start line, and it actually started snowing slightly, but once the race got to a start, it was quite a wonderful feeling to be going through all the lanes of Shinjuku with just the sea of runners. I didn't perspire for maybe the first 5km, and after that , maybe because I didn't train much, and also I did run slightly too fast at first, the back of my left knee started hurting and I think it was even a miracle I managed to keep running for 21km. "Mind over matter, mind over matter" was the only thing I tried to keep thinking, and it kinda worked for most of it, but when the pain worsened, and my perseverance kinda broke after 21km, I could only try to walk as quickly as I could and look forward to seeing my supporters along the way. I almost missed the cutoff for 35km, didn't realise I was walking too slowly and that the 30-35km cutoff times were so near, almost died after crossing it a minute before it closed. Felt so tired and in pain that I just stretched out there and sobbed uncontrollably while waiting for Ryo & bb to come by. Luckily it was 40 minutes to the next 38km point and I took a short rest to compose myself and walked on with another girl who was also caught in the same situation behind me. We became the last 2 pple in the race at that point.. until we caught up with more people walking at around 40km. phew. & finally made it to the end with about 5 minutes to spare. What a relief to finally reach the finish point and sit down after getting the medal and the bag. 
I couldn't walk properly that night, and was glad that Shuping came to the hotel and had a good catch up over my celebratory yakiniku dinner. I actually dozed off at about 9.30pm, and woke up at 11.30pm, didn't realise I was so tired. But still can't walk properly and I fell asleep at about past midnight again. The next day was much better, I could at least walk awkwardly slowly. 
I'm going to just take a rest from full marathons for a while, 2 in 4 months is just abit many for me and my next run will be a half marathon near my place in April. Go me! 

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I've completed 3 marathons! 

Friday, February 14, 2014

二千〇七:CNY 2014

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Lion dance performance in the office

I've been in sg for a month. & I don't want to leave!!

Mum has been babysitting bb for the whole month when I go to work and it's really so much better here than being alone at home, pulling my hair out trying to work and look after bb at the same time. This morning I even caught myself thinking if I have a 2nd child (like get pregnant now) the baby would be out by the end of the year. OMG! noooooooooo!! that would be totally the end of my freedom though.

We went to the zoo, bb loves the water park / playground.

We went to sentosa, bb enjoyed herself at the water playground and the beach, a little scared of waves in the sea.

We went on some playdates, discovered bb is a tyrant when it comes to toys. Even other people's toys.

& it's valentine's day today! I made 2 very simple cards, with chocolates for my team mates , and then sent a box of cupcakes to my sister in UK since she's alone w/o her hubby, (of cos she has to pay for it first, i'll just IOU her the cash for future use i guess) I hope she can actually finish the cupcakes though, they seem like alot for 1 person.

Tokyo marathon in a week. argh!!



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