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Thursday, July 31, 2014

二千十三:Two years

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bb turns 2!

The bulk of July I can remember is work.

Mum left on July 4th. It was kinda awkward, because we quarrelled so much the last few days.

Intensive reading in July, because I discovered the library books reservation system. And also, I was bored. Why would I have time to be bored you say... I have no idea. but I was mentally bored. very bored of having no human contact, having no social life, no one to really chit chat with and discuss rubbish with. Or I just missed going to the office. or something.

Bb discovered cicadas and I re-discovered online shopping. I think I bought a lot of clothes. Retail therapy and all sorts of reasons, but the short term high was so short I forgot about the clothes almost as soon as I paid for them. Which was good as a pleasant surprise when the clothes came in the mail.

Or maybe it wasn't work. July was quite a blank.

Just remembered Bb turned 2 in July. Hooray for me, and for her. I don't know if I want a second child. Seeing her play alone sometimes makes me feel guilty. But I don't know if I want to go back to square one of not being able to cope at work, losing all the freedom that's slowly coming back just to give her a sibling. and the finances. It's not that we'll be poor. but how will I work if I have to take care of 2 kids at the same time? They can probably entertain each other, but still.... I should stop thinking about this.

Bb knows her alphabets now, (most of them) she can pronounce most of them. Of course she can't form words yet, but it's a start. She seems to be catching on to Japanese numbers faster, maybe cos Ryo makes the effort to read poker cards to her.

I'm really a very lousy mum.. But what do you expect, after spending 24 hours with her daily, end of the day i just want to veg out and do my own things on my phone or read rather than do stuff with her.

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