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Monday, August 21, 2006

千百五十六: ermmm? ?

erm?

i am puzzled at the tag board's msges. thank u for those who are consoling me. for those who said "u just wishful thinking la" .. erh.. do u even noe the chain of events that has led to this?

firstly..

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he proposed on july 4th, in the airplane from the way back from our Kyushu trip. -.-

4th of july, independence day. how apt.

since he proposed le, whats the problem with asking for his concrete plans? if ur bf proposed but refused to discuss ani details, refuse to talk about it, i don't believe any girl will just sit there and not get mad when he keeps hemhawing about his actions or just his plans? for the umpteenth time. ok la. aniway. maybe u all think that i am just being unreasonable then so be it lor. he knows why i am unhappy but he would rather be on good terms with his parents than with me since he noe i will give in aniway . -.-

back to the present.
moved into the weekly mansion (an apartment that lets people rent for short period, fully furnished since its a real apartment, one room apartment with utensils, microwave, tv, LAN, house 2 door fridge, amenities like towels, bathing stuff, dishwashing stuff, etc and cheaper than a hotel) great hor? and i finally get the privacy. spent a great day walking around with a light bag without any books/ laptop, just to get food for the week (got fridge got stove got microwave means can cook! got pots and pans oso!) since he's coming to stay over with me in the evenings (i am very near the capcom office actually) he can sleep at least 2 more hours b4 he has to get ready for work. so i can make him breakfast every morning! after the weekend, i suddenly understand the feelings of those who have conflict with the mother-in-law. they really fighting with u for their son. she made him so needy and dependent on her (breakfast every morning still made for him when he wakes up at 5am. so means the mom wakes up at 4am! and its like a full meal with rice, soup, meat and veges. and so of cos he will expect such treatment in the future right?! wah liu.) and he dun need to lift a finger to help with housework, his dad oso apparently. the mom just do everything nicely for them.

its such enormous pressure, from both the mother-in-law (she will expect her son to be treated like king after marriage as well ) and he will expect that kind of treatment oso. just laze around and everything gets done around him. yes i do love him thats y i put up with it and he does work very hard at work. but i won't put up with just work and no family time. he seems afraid and quite distant from his dad. his impression of a family is that the dad put all effort into work and his main role is to earn money for the family thats it. huh? what happened to fatherly love? in the end, end up so distant that the dad seems to be like the president where everyone tiptoes around him but no one actually tell him when something happens because they are too afraid of him blowing his top. which is why i react to the house issue with such anger. if he had asked his dad and his dad had heard him out and said no, ok, then i will respect the decision, since he did at least try asking him. and yes, if the dad have proved that he is willing to hear out reasonable reasons. but no. he didn'T even dare to ask. i mean? he is an adult liao lor. almost even middle-aged le. and he can't even speak maturely to his dad? ok la, never mind i seem to be ranting / complaining again.

yah .so why did i move here. cos they got a bad impression of me when i surprised visited them? then worse was he told them that i extended my stay and would stay on longer but he of cos, eager to escape blame and make me the scapegoat, neglected to say that he was the one who asKed me to extend my stay!! its like pRIMARY school?! like when the teacher ask "did you push the girl and make her fall down?" and he would be reluctantly answering "Yah.... but he made me do it!! " so as to pull someone else into the fire oso. haiz. stomach boiling. never mind.

yah .forget it. i will be making him delicious breakfast tomorrow too. humph.

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