Tuesday, April 06, 2004

i feel like peter pan.

i read my sis' blog and realised she grew up. without me realising. didn't noe that time had flown by so quickly and she was veri nearly an adult. perhaps, mentally, she oredi was. like any elder sis, i had always tot she needed me to protect her from the evils of the world. and that if anione dared to bully her, i would give that person hell. and her bf was subject to my approval. etc etc. all the whims of the protective elder sis. she has done well, with veri little guidance from me. or perhaps with the guidance of me in the form of things not to do. i served as the black sheep, of wat she should not be when she grew up and she has done well to not become me. despite having the same education from the same schs and some same teachers, i am proud to see her become a much stronger person then me. better values, more mature, i do admit i've been jealous of her occasionally. jealous that my parents seem to have more pride in her but yet always disappointed in me. higher expectations of me yet lower impression of me in their esteem. jealous of how she is always the good daughter in their eyes while i'm always the disappointment, the one to always anger them. jealous of how i'm the rebellious one, the one to fight for freedom from parents while she just quietly sits there and sulk and i fight for her. haiz. time is just moving by far too fast. i can't help but fear the day when we all go our separate ways and form our own families. even now, we oredi lead our own lives in the same house we live in. i have also realised why i nv need girl frens. i have my sisters & they're all i ever need. weiting, wei, please promise me that no matter wat happens, we'll always be there for one another in times of need? i realli can't bear to let go of u girls.


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