Tuesday, September 21, 2010

千九百十五: Karma

Been thinking alot about Karma lately.

the usual stuff about more tolerance towards others, be less critical, be more selfless, be more self-reflecting, put others before yourself etc.

I'm wondering if that's a mistake, because no one cares, no matter how often you put people before yourself, they will only remember the few times when u might have put yourself first (because it gets tiring and sometimes you have needs too??). Despite the times when I might have felt slight irritation at others but suppressed saying anything because it was really minor and just put it out of mind after a moment's thought instead of saying it because it really doesn't matter in the big picture and you just think about nice things the person has done for u and no one is perfect anyway? or just went along and hope that the next time I might get to do what I want, but usually I don't but there's always next time right? But if I get unhappy about people, it's bad karma for myself and all I do is ask for feedback so that I can better myself.

OK. enough rambling perhaps.
Been feeling very tired mentally and quite down in the dumps and just want time to be with myself and really think things through very very clearly and just hope I can do the right thing as I go along.

In SG now, but kinda wished I wasn't back. Miss the peace I had in my own place in JP. Miss doing things at my own pace, and kinda miss the little shops that I always jog pass because they let me know how far i've jogged.

I guess i have to adapt back to here and start training for my runs in SG too..

saw a deer who is blind in one eye when we went to Nara.. it's kind of sad :(


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