Tuesday, July 07, 2009

千八百三十一: kids

At his friend's place, their concern was are we going to have kids soon?

I say not yet and they were like "oh but he going to be 40 soon" etc.

I know. So?

I can't feel that he is going to be a good father, I can't feel him being committed to having a family. I can't contact him when I need to, too often, if we have kids, anything happens, he doesn't answer his phone, who do I turn to? MIL/FIL are too old. He doesn't treat me, his "family", with very much importance for me to even consider having kids for him. I'm just someone who does the housework and makes breakfast for him daily, keeping house for him? I don't really feel that he is keen to come home earlier daily, a simple call to let me know he is having dinner outside he isn't able to do & i end up trying to call him the whole night to a busy tone. he doesn't console me when I'm sad, when I voice up issues he just treats it like I'm being quarrelsome and he keeps quiet until I get too exasperated and sleeps.

It's only been 2 months plus living together, & I'm really really sick of his behaviour & attitude. I definitely love him less than before, there's nothing about marriage being for the long run if it's all 1-sided trying to make it work. If he really wants to try my patience there isn't much of it left. When I'm back in sg i'll definitely not want to be back as long as I can. He can have watever life he wants.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

didn't know u'd be facing with such issues coz u look so happy in those photos. anyway, i've thought of some of those things that u've mentioned too. i'll be getting married next year and a lot of times, ever since we bought the house, i feel that i'm just being used, as a legal name to buy a house with him, rather than he really wants to be with me for the rest of his life. he just enjoys having a new house in a great location and the rest of his living habits will still remains, plus living with his parents, and i'll be the one to have to adjust to everything. and he thinks to by paying for the dinners, movies, short trips, etc is VERY good and nice of him already!? i don't think i'll even get a monthly allowance or supplementary credit card from him if i quit my job and give birth. that's so sad and frustrating whenever i think of it, which is almost every day. :( sorry for the rant here.

11:18 am GMT+8  
Blogger booboogal said...

hi there, thanks for sharing your situation.

I guess the "fun" dating part is always happy, (hence the happy photos haha) but when it comes to the boring mundane daily housework, the ugly side really shows. I totally know what you mean about living habits remaining; he expects to be treated the same as when he was at home, mom serve him hand & foot, home is just a place to sleep & relax without lifting a finger. He said he would give me money for groceries; up to now not once has he passed me any money promptly without me saying I'm running low and then even when I ask, he shows some kind of buay song face, which really turns me off. Don't quit your job until you are really sure he will take care of u & baby w/o grumbles! at least, that's what i'm doing, I don't want to give up my financial freedom or have kids just yet, in case anything does goes wrong...

9:02 am GMT+8  

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