千五百五十六： Friendship

I saw several livejournal blogs and they had the click to read further option. why my one don't have?

I read my past entries and I see that I did have a very very low level of tolerance and a very bad temper. I guess this really does taper off with age, since I hardly feel anything worth getting so angry about nowadays. I do get pissed off when I don't get my way, what I want, but that also fades off quickly.

But anger with people, they pretty much stay the same. Once I start feeling different about a person, it doesn't change anymore. The trust, the feelings of goodwill just go and don't come back. (Once trust is gone, its hard to earn it back) Especially being treated with double standards. I hate people who try to sweet talk me, coerce me like I'm some idiot when the faults, the mistakes are laid out so obviously and they don't respect my requests to stop calling me by some names that make me very uncomfortable, even after not only 2times but 3 times of me telling them nicely to stop calling me that way, since we are only friends. Even close male friends, I don't do affectionate name-calling, as that would mess up platonic friendships with me.

I don't easily call people close friends, or let them be close friends, so if we were only went out a few times, ate a few meals, I don't think that really counts to me as becoming my close friend?? Friendship needs to be proven, friends are supposed to be there in times of need. Only those who have proven their friendship (like some of the 61ders, Xynn)or people who has been through thick and thin with me (Friday, my sisters maybe) are the ones I will truly say are close to me. The rest are just people who come in and out of your life. yeah, friends, acquaintances, but its very early to call people close friends when barely known for a year. I draw lines between becoming too good friends with colleagues. If from work, we go out as a group, fine. But, frequent outings between just a guy and a girl leads to gossip and I do not wish to allow that to happen. I don't want a rerun of hall life, just want to keep my own life intact. Contact after work should only be on a need-to basis. Else there isn't any line between work and private life and it all gets messed up sooner or later.

Now, I am happy with going out with the group of local girls, the Japanese ladies also are including me in their meals and outings. It might get a little expensive going out with girls, (no one to give u treats for no reasons..) but what's the price for getting a general peace of mind anyway.