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Friday, July 14, 2006

1123: home is not the best place to be

i wanted to think that i was happy to be back. and i wanted to be good and help out my parents from now on and guess wat, today i was totally reminded of why i hated living at home.

i am 23, going on 24 liao but nothing has changed. my mom still scolds me for everything not my fault; she brings her bad mood home and aims it at all of us, she clears up our room and then scolds us for living our clothes on the bed. which i usually pick up if left there at the end of the day. why pick up and scold us for making u do it? we didnt ask u to pick up, it is our bed after all, not like we throw our clothes on ur bed?! the thing is, its not that we dun want to do housework, its that u meddle into everything we do. u want us to do things your way. why do u think i dont bother to cook at home? cos its not my kitchen, u'll freak and scold us for making a mess instead of appreciating the fact that we cooked. u pick out the worst in us, its realli like i Not stupid 2, the parents only noe how to scold scold scold, when we speak, we get scolded, when we quiet, they think we are insolent. how to please such people?

when ryo ask me why i wanna get married so young, in my head i'm thinking, why, to get away from my mom, to have my own place, i dun want to be scolded and scolded and scolded forever, and of course the only thing i say out is that i want someone who supports and love me and won't question my way of doing things. isnt that so? she keeps using the words "this is not your house hor, its my house so u should do wat i say" and in that case, who would feel happy living there? dun wan to let me move out yet say such things. can u blame ur daughters for always trying to stay out as much as possible?

i am tired, tired of fighting her, i just wanna get out and be rescued as soon as possible. 6 hours distance is a very good distance away.

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