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Wednesday, April 21, 2004

have decided to post up somethin in tribute of my current fav blogger Neville Nah.. its one of his blog entries from feb for those of u too lazy to scroll to his archives. :) check out his feb17 2004 entry. enjoy!

"Alright settle down now boys and girls, today we're going on a journey of discovery and education! Old Gramma is going to talk to all you kids about the male sexual organ otherwise known as the penis.

The penis is known by many names. It is known as dick, cock, schlong, monkey, penguin, shoe, tool, sausage, weener, love meat, pee-pee, ding-dong, one-eyed monster, knob, dipstick, rod, boner, willy, woody, python of love, pecker, prick and pork sword, just to name a few.

Now the reason why we are talking about the penis today is because during psychology lecture today, the one Theresa told me that the one Yvonne told her that her one bio teacher once told her in secondary school that the average size of the firm worm at attention is equal to that of a:

CUCUMBER.

That very statement just jerked me to my senses and blew me away.

Now girls (and some boys), if you think that the average "shoe-size" of a virile male at full alert is the size of a cucumber, then in future, you are going to be 1) sore 2) disappointed 3) sorely disappointed.


"Mummy! It doesn't fit in my mouth!"

After stating her case, the one Weiling too agreed that she heard from someone that it was indeed the size of a cucumber.

WHERE DO THESE LIES COME FROM?

So that's what they do for sex education nowadays huh, sell false hope. Seeing how no amount of verbal explanation would satisfy and make them understand, I decided, in the middle of my psychology lecture, to whip out....



...my pen to draw on a piece of paper....



...a circle representing the diameter of the average cucumber (since they countered that even if willy-wonka wasn't the length of a cucumber, surely it was at least the diameter of one)

This was followed by mathematical explanations how impossible it would be for someone to hide something that size into pants unless he was wearing a parachute as a skirt. The mentioned size is simply impossible to achieve, it would defy every single law of physics and nature ever known to Man.

OF COURSE, there are exceptions. No, not me. But I mean if women can have boobies the size of the:

MOON

then surely, there are some guys out there with a pickstick the size of a:

WHALE

But boys and girls, let us not be too obsessed with the size of the toothpick, be it a cocktail or a bratwurst, for what really matters in a guy is really... his:

HEART

Because that's what really matters...

stronger heart, more stamina.


"Boy! You get your hand out of those pants NOW!"

DID YOU KNOW?: The one Sharon Shen Fungly once meant to write "My pen is broken" on my foolscap paper back in JC but due to her horrendous handwriting, it turned out as "My penis broken". Just for your perverse information. "


muahahahah... hilarious, yah?

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