千九百八十九：Almost 30

just love this innocent look at age 6 weeks

It's nearly 2 months of looking after a baby , & less than a month to my 30th birthday.

After such a long time of being young (usually I'm always the youngest at my workplace somehow, at the age of 20++) suddenly 30 sounds very old. No wonder Rachel in Friends refused to come out of her room on her birthday. I'm trying not to be bothered about it, but it's hard. The only consolation is that I've achieved most of what I wanted to before 30.

Before 30 (in no particular order)

• Completed a marathon
• Got married / had a baby 
• Still earning my own keep
• Living overseas
• Got my degree somehow
• Maintained zero debts 
• Managed to build up & hold on to some sort of investment portfolio which cannot feed me as passive income but can sell if in a pinch.
• Travelled to most of the cities I've always wanted to go (eg New York, Paris, London, Rome etc) 
• Saw Kimura Takuya in real life no less than 2m away at a SMAP concert when his crane like apparatus stopped right in front of me

Unfilfilled aspirations 

• I still can't speak French fluently
• I haven't properly travelled to other parts of France
• I want to watch a baseball match with Ichiro playing!
• Complete a marathon within 5 hours. 
• Start my own business somehow. still thinking of how to do it & what kind of business it should be. 
• Own my own home - this should be fulfilled next year! 
• Be able to bake all sorts of goodies and make all sorts of desserts
• Able to sew/knit make stuff really well

hmm.. I guess in the nearest sense, what I want to be able to do in the coming year is just be able to cope with working and looking after the baby at the same time (& I do have that competitive streak that I want my bb to be able to start walking etc really fast!) It's been a very challenging time the past 1.5 months, especially when I lack sleep and also learning to not let the baby restrict my social life and how to cope with work/baby at the same time. Even when I feel very very tired, it's just not possible to be angry with the bb (because i choose to have the bb; the bb didn't choose me) and when she gives the wide-eye pouty look, your heart just melts and smiles with her. I'm pretty thankful she only cries when she is hungry or wants to be carried (so far) but hopefully our communication will only improve with time :)