千九百六十五：Hurtful Words

at the tennis court

Woke up especially early today because I'm going to collect my race pack at the Osaka Marathon Expo later. The place looks huge, with almost all the major sports brands in Japan setting up booths. I'm so excited!  By the way, if you want to just check out how I'm doing during the marathon on Sunday, you can just go to this page: http://www.osaka-marathon.com/2011/ and search for my tag number L 43374. I'm not exactly sure if there is an exact page that allows for the search or just this page directly, will try to update this page on Saturday night. Having alot of jitters for this, because I didn't train much, & am having abit of a sore throat now. But I am going to finish this by hook or crook (hopefully just able to finish this normally can le.. )

This has been an uneventful week, just work work work. Last minute deadlines almost killed me, had to work until 4am trying to complete some data creation on Monday. But partly my own fault, met up with Yusuke for dinner but it was good hearing about people from the office. At least he lives so near me I don't have to spend much time travelling to meet up with him. I did see something that I sorta feel like buying, a fish eyes lens for the iphone, it's just so cute! but so bulky in the bag, how am I going to stick that case into the bag with the lens sticking out? hmm..

The hubby was so horrible last night. We were going to visit his parents on Saturday morning, because it was his mum's birthday & he said something about visiting his parents means eating free meals so isn't it a good thing? and it just sounded wrong saying it like that even though it might be true. Shouldn't we visit them because we want to see them and not because we go there to eat free meals? & I said that, & he got pissed off saying I always seem so reluctant to visit them blah blah (apparently he missed the point I was trying to make again) and I said huh? since when? I might complain about having to wash the dishes, but who doesn't? I would rather bring the parents out for dinner because I feel bad that they have to take so much trouble to cook so much food (always end up having leftovers which they don't mind but I mind) & after that I have to help clean up (this is a given but I've always done it willingly because they are so old) but when he said that it really made me mad. Did I not volunteer to cook dinner & bring over? Did I not jog all the way to the hospital to visit his dad when he wasn't around? I mean, I always go over when he wants to, help out like a normal if not above average daughter in law & he can just say out such hurtful things w/o even thinking. How about changing his position to him being in Singapore & if I want to go my parents' place & if he always has to make small talk how will he feel? The point is not really cleaning up or what, it's more of the feeling that i have - similar to visiting relatives that I hardly visit in CNY (which is why I don't really like CNY)? You go there, greet people, sit down & eat and then after that just watch TV. You don't really have anything to say to them, except the direct concerns like how are you feeling etc. I don't know how to make small talk. Getting married to the son doesn't make me family any immediately than they adopting me as a child. They might make an effort to be friendly & treat me like family, but I will still be a stranger because they are not my parents and it takes time. I am not the type of person who can just become chummy or warm up to other people in a short time, especially not the elderly or authority figures, but I will at least be civil and do the duties or responsibilities expected of me. Is that so hard to understand?