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Saturday, December 13, 2008

千七百四十八: 精神

I kinda lost sight of the reasons why I'm doing anything these days.

I'm doing wrong to everyone close and being done wrong to from everyone close as a result. I dunno who to trust anymore. or how to treat anyone correctly.

I felt very short tempered with G the other day. for the past few days, I was just worrying my head off about money issues and i got pissed off that she insisted on eating expensive foodcourt food. it might not mean much to her having had 2 promotions this year but even eating at somewhere where its $3 per meal compared to $6 per meal made a lot of difference to me. (i can eat 1 more meal with the money lor) sounds ngeow or what, but I really didn't want to spend the $6 instead of the $3. and she whined about it which made me even more fed up. I didn't trust myself to speak anymore in case i really blew my top so I just kept quiet and sat down.

我必须找回我自己。

今天,C问我为什么我这么无精打采。应该是兴致勃勃地筹备中才对啊。我说,自己一个人应付到非常疲倦了。有这么多小事,大事都得操心,工作,金钱,家长,心事,凛凛乱乱的烦恼这么多,兴奋的心情能够保持多久呢?遇到小小的不如意事,不经意地就感觉到热泪盈眶,实在是精神错乱的第一征兆。我真的是觉得很累很累。

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