千七百四十八： 精神

I kinda lost sight of the reasons why I'm doing anything these days.

I'm doing wrong to everyone close and being done wrong to from everyone close as a result. I dunno who to trust anymore. or how to treat anyone correctly.

I felt very short tempered with G the other day. for the past few days, I was just worrying my head off about money issues and i got pissed off that she insisted on eating expensive foodcourt food. it might not mean much to her having had 2 promotions this year but even eating at somewhere where its $3 per meal compared to $6 per meal made a lot of difference to me. (i can eat 1 more meal with the money lor) sounds ngeow or what, but I really didn't want to spend the $6 instead of the $3. and she whined about it which made me even more fed up. I didn't trust myself to speak anymore in case i really blew my top so I just kept quiet and sat down.

我必须找回我自己。

今天，C问我为什么我这么无精打采。应该是兴致勃勃地筹备中才对啊。我说，自己一个人应付到非常疲倦了。有这么多小事，大事都得操心，工作，金钱，家长，心事，凛凛乱乱的烦恼这么多，兴奋的心情能够保持多久呢？遇到小小的不如意事，不经意地就感觉到热泪盈眶，实在是精神错乱的第一征兆。我真的是觉得很累很累。