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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

環境の変幻

changes everywhere.

haiz. happy birthday dad..

mm. at a loss for words here.

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hmm.. seriously at a loss for words. maybe i'll just blabber anything that comes into my mind.

oh i just spoke to my new supervisor and he's pretty nice. my first impression of him was at the welcome party in january. at that time he could only speak jap, i think he still can only speak jap but i had nothing to say to him and we were just there smiling awkwardly after the introductions. mmm. at least now i can understand what he is saying. yay! and he was so nice. i had wanted to take a holiday on Ryo's bday and i hadn't been able to bring it up here b4 they decided to kick me out (GRR! yah i know its not like that but i just can't help but feel that it must be my fault somehow that they all been keeping this dept change thing from me. its kinda mean.. to just suddenly drop the bomb that i am going to say bye to all these people that i've finally grown to be comfortable with .. is it cos they don't like me? will they just forget bout me after i am gone? and so on. was so sad i cried myself to sleep last night. .... ) anyway. regarding the holiday. mm yah.. my current supervisor came with me to the meeting and she was supposed to bring it up but she seriously isn't very helpful and told me to ask myself when i looked pleadingly at her. .... grrrr... and then i had to ask in a very round (wan zhuan) way and he was like oh holiday? sure! as long as u tell me b4hand and not one shot LONG holiday can le .. wah so nice right?! i like my new supervisor already. hee hee.. which put me in a pretty good mood for the rest of the afternoon.

did i mention we had a pretty big fight on sunday evening? which caused me to have a cold and i couldn't stop sneezing and i had to go to work all swollen-eyed on Monday. and then to have to hear the bad news of a transfer which made my eyes leak more. boohoo..... but i dunno why he didn't hug me when i was crying at first and he just sat there looking cold and like a stone and i was feeling really shitty. until after i in a fit of anger, gave him his bday present in advance and he was like oh. and i think he prolly melted a little (his present was a ferragamo belt k!!) and he asked if i was cold and i said i was and he went to close the drapes and then he went back to like sit down far away. non-touchable distance actually. then i was like mumbling "if u ask i cold why dun come hug me/make me warmer?" and he came over and i just started crying into his arms. dunno why i just couldn't stop. and then he just let me cry onto his shoulders while he stroked my back and saying sorry the whole time. (T.T) haiz. actually i don't know why i was crying. i was homesick i supposed, much more than i thought i was and i was pretty stressed worrying about what would happen to us when i go back. and it makes me more stressed that he doesn't seem to have given thought to the matter at all. haiz.

i just read through what i wrote here and i realised i sound like eleen khoo. yikes. bad. i better stop talking like a 16 year old. hee hee..

seriously, i will be very sad next week when i have to move away from this office. no more cute guys in suits. both of my favourite cute guys (not Ryo hehe ) are in my building and one is on my level while the other one is like on the 7th flr. so the one on my level is from IT and i always catch him looking in my direction (becos he is facing my direction like 10m away wahahahaha duh! ) and when i turn my head i can see him immediately too. unfortunately, i have not spoken to him at all except good morning. (#^-^#) hey .. beneath this chirpy talking i am very shy with strangers in reality ok!? stop sniggering!! .. anyway, the other guy in the 7th floor is from HR and he's new. i've spoken to him on the phone in the office becos he calls to make interview appt on my boss' schedule. haiz. boring .. only work. and oso other than that good morning. he looks like a host (male escorts in japan are called hosts hehe..) and he is always impeccably dressed and very smiley in the cool way *swoons* and clean cut too. (*^-^*) i nv fail to blush when i see him. argh. once i bumped into him at the 7-11 i almost tripped and fell after that cos i didn't see the pavement after he said good morning to me. ..... yah.. the bestest day was that same morning, both of these guys took the same elevator as me to the office. BOTH TOGETHER!! what were the chances?! once in a lifetime i would say. yah .. so sad .. no more such chances le..

okie.. enuff random blabbering.. i'll go back to being myself tomorrow don't worry!
(of course unless u prefer me to blabber i could try ..)

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