Monday, January 03, 2005

my best fren is getting married! congrats xinhuan! i'm veri happy for her.. the proposal seems pretty romantic... i'm just very sad that i might not be part of her joy. :(

been feeling very emotional lately. tears well up at every little thing, some words, disappointment at being unable to eat my favourite food, an outing, a kind gesture, a train ride, a familiar song.. i'm not usually a crybaby.. but i guess i really am pretty much afraid of the future. fren getting married, feels things are changing uncontrollably, looming loneliness ahead, no support from parents.. although its a dream job and all, i am excited (i guess), but i just dun foresee happiness ahead. perhaps i should just ignore everything and do wat i want to.

i wan to come back for Xinhuan's wedding. Very Much. I agree with her, that i always tot my best fren should be there at all my life phases, marriage, childbirth etc. ok, not exactly childbirth, pregnancy i guess and maybe 1st month etc. it is quite impractical. but that's not important. i wan to be there, she wans me to be there, and if there ever is a need, when I get married, i will definitely fly her back for it too. cos she has to be here as well. i've nv been to any ROMs b4, and i definitely wan her one to be the first one i see. i wan to see for myself she's marrying someone who can give her happiness, to know she will have a gd marriage ahead of her. sounds kind of possessive but thats why i wan to be there so much. i am of cos envious of all these happening to her.. but definitely very very happy she has finally got the happiness she been waiting for.. Congratulations once again. i do wish u & kenneth to be happy together for life k? if he ever bullies u, i'm always here for u.


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