千八百五十九： Emotions

Feeling abit weird these few days..

- was re-reading & writing on ayaka's blog & I started crying. I thought I was ok already by now. but maybe it was the work stress + mental instability this week due to the work stress that left me very vulnerable to tears.
- that evening, i read a whole email exchange from a girl who refused to take back her responsibility of some project that I was helping out with (ended up doing ALL the most tedious stuff which is like almost everything) & the supposed "lead" of the team. The lead kept taking her side when she said she couldn't do this & that & I was so angry because I'm not even asking her to do anything difficult except set up the meetings to get approval & she insisted she couldn't that she agreed to take the project back only after I've completed certain tasks "as agreed". Agreed with who???? I didn't agree on any terms, I agreed to "help out". wth!? Got so mad i felt so overwhelmed & could only think of calling my ex-manager to ask him to help & ended up crying on the phone when I heard his voice. :S Only managed to calm down after almost an hour. but still .. motivation all gone.
- heard a friend's sad story & i don't know why tears just came to my eyes.
- today i realised that i wouldn't have a xmas tree this year after going all around to try to find one & I just started crying. in the middle of daiso. Poor Ryo was so shocked, he didn't know it meant so much to me, to have a tree in our place for the first time ever in my lift. sighz. never mind.. next year bah..

Think alot more tears will be coming, just have been feeling mentally exhausted especially with work. today had a good yakiniku (焼肉）dinner with Ryo & his brother's family, his bro was a big help this morning in getting a new battery for the car. The xmas cards are going well, but taking abit more effort than I thought. Hope the recipients will like them even though they are a little simple :)