i feel better already. tried not to feel sianz bout not having anyone to eat dinner with today. I must not grow too dependent on anyone! (very noble sentiments but i am not very sure that i can achieve it)

probably going to dinner with colleagues tomorrow.. i think.. i feel bad that they look after us so well when we go tokyo but we just bochup these people when they come over to osaka. we should reciprocate but its just so easy to ignore them and do our own things. i am so afraid of having nothing to do at work, cos its realli difficult to feign hardworking-ness.

should I be a whiny person on my blog? i could have so much to complain about but i seem to have lost the will to complain. i just go about my days half-dazed and just taking everything in and not thinking. on the train, i watch people without thinking wat they are thinking, without wondering what their lives are like. I used to do that, but i just don't have the energy or the desire to do such things anymore; is this what growing old is like? where you stop wondering and start accepting?