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Monday, March 09, 2009

千七百八十七: 辛い

Seeing the other girls' faces in the office made me feel alot worse today.

everyone else had swollen eyes, didn't sleep well, probably thinking of the last time they saw her and trying to recall all the happy memories they had together.

Blake made the "official" announcement today, and I thought I would be ok, but the officiality of it seemed to just confirm this whole shit and make it real and i burst out crying. I guess people not that close to me were surprised, since they didn't know how close we were.

I thought I was ok to put flowers at her desk without losing control of my emtions, but seeing her desk and her name tag and everything there (laptop left open, her jacket at her chair) just forced me into tears again and I couldnt' stop. sorry to everyone who became very sad because of me crying :( I just kept thinking, why why why????? and so many things we were supposed to be doing together, and the tears just couldn't stop.

I don't know how long it will take before I can wake up in the morning and not even shed tear for her..

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